Sippy Cup is a huge fan of cameras.
Film-based. Digital. Point and shoot. DSLR. It doesn't matter.
If he can point it and create a photo, he loves it.
Of course, the natural next step in this artistic evolution is Instagram.
So that's exactly what we've done: you can now follow @SIPPY_CUPS on Instagram.
Sippy Cup will be the primary photographer. He will take the majority of the photos, do all edits, apply any prints, etc.
I will merely be his representative, responsible for curating his collection, typing his comments and #hashtags while also deleting any ridiculous photos of his parents.
I will be the Bischofberger to his Basquiat. Minus the drugs.
After today, you can click on the Instagram badge we've added to the home page to see all of his photos.
Like almost every other idea we've had, this ought to be fun.
Stay tuned. Click "like". And spread the word. We are both ego-based creatures and work best with positive reinforcement.
December 31, 2012
December 28, 2012
Growing Up Means (1)
Hey little dude,
I know that growing up seems awesome.
Daddy gets to stay up late, play violent video games, use power tools, etc.
But there are some AMAZING things you can do as a kid that you probably shouldn't do as an adult.
For example, look at how much fun the little boy in this video is having:
I know that growing up seems awesome.
Daddy gets to stay up late, play violent video games, use power tools, etc.
But there are some AMAZING things you can do as a kid that you probably shouldn't do as an adult.
For example, look at how much fun the little boy in this video is having:
"Best Friends" - Video Courtesy of Justin Burrett
Growing up means you will go out of your way to not step in a puddle.
Try not to grow up too fast. Puddles are awesome.
Love,
Dad
PS - just because puddles are awesome doesn't mean you should jump in them as an adult. That's just weird.
December 27, 2012
December 26, 2012
Nanas
Princess Teacup (pointing to the kitchen counter): “Tack
ticky blur blurg blurg?”
Me (kneeling down so that we’re at eye level): “Daddy has no
idea what that means baby.”
Princess Teacup (holding both of her hands behind her back like a
tiny general):
“Pfttp pffttp blur blurg blahrg”
Me (standing back up): “Ok, we both know those aren't words.”
Princess Teacup (pointing with pronounced vehemence): “Tack
ticky blahrg pfttp pfttp!”
Me (scanning the counter anxiously): “I have no idea what it
is that you want baby.”
Princess Teacup (starts to wail and sob)
M.O.M. (walks into the kitchen): “What happened? What is it baby? What does my baby need?”
Princess Teacup (smiles and points to the counter): “Mama. Nana?”
M.O.M. (handing her a banana): “Here you go baby.”
Princess Teacup (smiling broadly): “Nana! Thank!”
Me (shocked): “I swear to you, she wasn't saying anything that
even resembled a real word!”
M.O.M. (kissing her on the forehead): “It’s ok baby. Daddy’s a little stupid.”
Sippy Cup (from the dining room): "Ooh! Burn!"
December 25, 2012
December 24, 2012
December 21, 2012
Mind Blowing
General chaos swirls around us as Sippy Cup chases his baby sister around the couch
M.O.M.: "All of my friends that want kids have no idea what it's really like."
Me: "I don't think anyone knows what it's really like. But I think even the stuff that you think you know, you don't really know until you're living through it."
M.O.M.: "I guess."
Me: "Like when you were pregnant. You had a baby, a real human being, in your stomach.
Your stomach! Dude, you made a baby from the food you ate!"
M.O.M.: "Uhm, that's not really how it works."
Me: "Whatever, this isn't biology class. You had a freakin' baby inside of you!
That doesn't blow your mind?!"
M.O.M. (staring at her stomach and sighing): "And they ruined me."
Me: "First of all, you weigh like 100 lbs. Second of all, that's not the point. Little dude. Come here."
Sippy Cup (out of breath): "What's up Dad?"
Me (grabbing him by the shoulders):
"Mommy made you in her belly! In her belly! That doesn't blow your mind?"
"Mommy made you in her belly! In her belly! That doesn't blow your mind?"
Sippy Cup (shaking his head): "Nope. Not really."
Me: "Oh really? So what blows your mind? What is more amazing than the fact that Mommy made you in her belly? Her belly dude!"
Sippy Cup (smiling): "Baking. When you bake a cake. That blows my mind."
M.O.M.: "I have to admit, that is pretty amazing."
December 20, 2012
A Letter to Future Sippy Cup (19)
Hey kid,
Last night, you tied your sneakers by yourself for the very first time.
I can imagine that by the time you're reading this, you will have conquered this quotidian task.
But you should know that you have spent the past few days practicing how to tie your sneakers and finally, on the night of December 19, 2012, you were blown away when you got it right.
Like most of life's important moments, the real lessons were hidden in a mundane event.
You see, over the past few days, you have learned the value of patience. Of hard-work. Of dedication. Of resilience.
And, tonight, you took another step towards your independence.
I know it sounds like I'm over-dramatizing a simple moment in your development.
But I'm your father. I have a right to do that.
Love,
Dad
Last night, you tied your sneakers by yourself for the very first time.
I can imagine that by the time you're reading this, you will have conquered this quotidian task.
But you should know that you have spent the past few days practicing how to tie your sneakers and finally, on the night of December 19, 2012, you were blown away when you got it right.
Like most of life's important moments, the real lessons were hidden in a mundane event.
You see, over the past few days, you have learned the value of patience. Of hard-work. Of dedication. Of resilience.
And, tonight, you took another step towards your independence.
I know it sounds like I'm over-dramatizing a simple moment in your development.
But I'm your father. I have a right to do that.
Love,
Dad
December 19, 2012
The Swear Jar
Me: "So remember how you said we should start a Swear Jar for you?"
M.O.M.: "I don't remember anything of the sort."
Me: "Well I do. And I have proof. It's on the Internet."
M.O.M.: "Whatever. Besides, I don't have enough money to support my habit."
Me: "Hilarious. Seriously I think it's something we should-"
- Loud crashing sound from the bedroom -
Princess Teacup (whispering): "Oh $#!&"
Me (shaking my head): "We're gonna need a bigger jar."
M.O.M.: "I don't remember anything of the sort."
Me: "Well I do. And I have proof. It's on the Internet."
M.O.M.: "Whatever. Besides, I don't have enough money to support my habit."
Me: "Hilarious. Seriously I think it's something we should-"
- Loud crashing sound from the bedroom -
Princess Teacup (whispering): "Oh $#!&"
Me (shaking my head): "We're gonna need a bigger jar."
December 18, 2012
December 17, 2012
December 14, 2012
This past Friday, our nation was traumatized by yet another shooting tragedy.
The coincidental irony of the M.O.M and I having taken a day off from work to spend time with Sippy Cup has not been lost on me.
I spent the weekend debating whether or not I would write this post. Its easy to stand on a soap box and ardently proclaim your beliefs and opinions when you have a site like mine. And its even easier to do so from the safety of my home, when both of my children are safe and sound.
As a father, I sympathize with all of the parents affected by the events in Newton, Connecticut and our hearts and thoughts have been with them all throughout the weekend. I, literally, cannot even begin to imagine the pain they're experiencing.
They say that one of life's greatest sins is when a parent outlives their child.
The parents in Connecticut know this. Including Adam Lanza's father, Peter.
In the days to come, in the aftermath of this incomprehensible shooting, it will be easy to demonize Adam Lanza. I am in no position to say whether that will be justified or not.
All I know is that there are fathers everywhere trying to make sense of Friday December 14th, 2012.
I am one of those fathers. And so is Peter Lanza.
December 14, 2012
A Letter to Future Sippy Cup (18)
Hey kid,
Today, Mommy and Daddy both took a vacation day and surprised you with a trip to the Big Apple Circus.
You are such an amazing little boy. You are doing so well in school.
And you are the best older brother your sister could have ever wished for.
I know it hasn't been easy for you, having to share your toys and our attention with her.
So, today, it's all about you. And only you.
Love,
Dad
Today, Mommy and Daddy both took a vacation day and surprised you with a trip to the Big Apple Circus.
You are such an amazing little boy. You are doing so well in school.
And you are the best older brother your sister could have ever wished for.
I know it hasn't been easy for you, having to share your toys and our attention with her.
So, today, it's all about you. And only you.
Love,
Dad
December 13, 2012
The Evolution of Comedy
I realized the other day that one of the more interesting ways for me to chart my son's growth and development is through his comedic skill.
While it may seem ironic to use a skill that relies heavily on absurd immaturity to track your child's maturation, you are also reading reflections written by a man who called his wife a Mogwai for not wanting to eat left-over chicken late at night.
Let's begin:
Age 1: "Falling Down" - like most babies learning how to walk, Sippy Cup used to fall down. A lot. So that he wouldn't get discouraged, we would always offer a loving round of applause whenever he would fall. In turn, he would laugh. It didn't take long for him to learn that falling down would make other people laugh too. It was all downhill after that.
Age 2: "Other People Falling Down" - once he had conquered walking, Sippy Cup realized that when other people fall down, it is pretty damn hilarious. He became a huge fan of America's Funniest Home Videos around this time.
Age 3: "Hurting Daddy" - at this point, he began to recognize the power of an audience and started honing his crowd control skills. He quickly learned that randomly drop-kicking me while I took a nap would elicit a raucous round of laughter from the M.O.M. We went further downhill after that. He also started taking notes while watching Tom and Jerry cartoons.
Age 4: "Knock Knock Jokes" - thanks to the popularity of Yo Gabba Gabba's Knock Knock Joke of the Day, Sippy Cup began to learn how to structure jokes. However, he had yet to learn the finer arts of timing, delivery and punchlines. Here's an example: Stand Up Routine.
Age 5: "Your Face" / "Burn" - this is a complex joke structure requiring mastery of all the subtle mechanics of comedy. Here is an example from a few days ago which will illustrate my point. I was so proud.
While it may seem ironic to use a skill that relies heavily on absurd immaturity to track your child's maturation, you are also reading reflections written by a man who called his wife a Mogwai for not wanting to eat left-over chicken late at night.
Let's begin:
Age 1: "Falling Down" - like most babies learning how to walk, Sippy Cup used to fall down. A lot. So that he wouldn't get discouraged, we would always offer a loving round of applause whenever he would fall. In turn, he would laugh. It didn't take long for him to learn that falling down would make other people laugh too. It was all downhill after that.
Age 2: "Other People Falling Down" - once he had conquered walking, Sippy Cup realized that when other people fall down, it is pretty damn hilarious. He became a huge fan of America's Funniest Home Videos around this time.
Age 3: "Hurting Daddy" - at this point, he began to recognize the power of an audience and started honing his crowd control skills. He quickly learned that randomly drop-kicking me while I took a nap would elicit a raucous round of laughter from the M.O.M. We went further downhill after that. He also started taking notes while watching Tom and Jerry cartoons.
Age 4: "Knock Knock Jokes" - thanks to the popularity of Yo Gabba Gabba's Knock Knock Joke of the Day, Sippy Cup began to learn how to structure jokes. However, he had yet to learn the finer arts of timing, delivery and punchlines. Here's an example: Stand Up Routine.
Age 5: "Your Face" / "Burn" - this is a complex joke structure requiring mastery of all the subtle mechanics of comedy. Here is an example from a few days ago which will illustrate my point. I was so proud.
Me (surveying the aftermath of a toy typhoon): "Dude. Your room is a mess."
Sippy Cup (looking at the pile on the floor): "Your face is a mess."
Me (astounded but smiling): "What?"
Sippy Cup (sniffing the air): "Do you smell that?"
Me (afraid of where this is going but sniffing as well): "No...?"
Sippy Cup (screwing his face): "It smells like fire...'CAUSE YOUR FACE GOT BURNED SON!"
Me (laughing): "Freakin' awesome! High-five!"
Sippy Cup (jumping up to give me a high-five): "HA!"
December 12, 2012
400
On March 22, 2010, we started here.
399 posts later and, somehow, we're still at it.
Thank you to everyone who continues to support this little project of ours; your kind words of encouragement help keep me sane.
Here's to the next 400,
Mr. Cufflinks
PS - to mark the occasion, we've premiered our new banner which was made by this awesome guy, beloved Beer Mug and phenomenal cartoonist.
December 11, 2012
Christmas Light Pets
Last night, we decided to take the kids on a nighttime stroll through our neighborhood to enjoy our neighbors' elaborate holiday light decorations.
Not that I needed any proof, but the Princess is clearly following in the footsteps of her older brother.
Not that I needed any proof, but the Princess is clearly following in the footsteps of her older brother.
Me (pointing to the houses): "Look baby! Look at all the pretty lights!"
Princess Teacup (silent and unimpressed)
Me (trying my best to impress her): "Look! Look! It's Santa Claus! Its a Snow Man!"
Princess Teacup (still silent and unimpressed)
Me: "Oooh! Look! Look baby! These lights chan-"
Princess Teacup (at the top of her lungs): "AAAAAAAAHHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"
Me: "-ge...? What are you screaming about?"
Princess Teacup (pointing emphatically at a brown chihuahua puppy across the street):
"-HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAHAHA! DADA! MAMA! DADA! MAMA!"
Me (sighing): "Really? The puppy? That's what wins you over?"
Princess Teacup: "Hehe. Woof woof."
December 10, 2012
A Letter to Future Sippy Cup (17)
Hey kid,
You are too young to understand this right now so I write these words to the future version of you.
You are my legacy, my chance to do something right for once, my apology to the world for all the wrong I've ever done.
You give my life purpose. You give my soul strength.
The simple fact is this: you are a newer, better, stronger, and smarter version of me.
Now go out there and prove me right.
Love,
Dad
You are too young to understand this right now so I write these words to the future version of you.
You are my legacy, my chance to do something right for once, my apology to the world for all the wrong I've ever done.
You give my life purpose. You give my soul strength.
The simple fact is this: you are a newer, better, stronger, and smarter version of me.
Now go out there and prove me right.
Love,
Dad
December 7, 2012
December 6, 2012
Rosetta Stone: Princess Teacup Edition
"Thank" - Thank you ; generally used when you have conceded to her demands and have relinquished control of the TV remote control
"Mo" - Elmo (context-sensitive usage) ; depending on the situation, she is either demanding that you give her the Elmo toothpaste bottle, demanding that you prepare the laptop and turn on the Elmo learning software, demanding that you find Elmo on the television, demanding that you entertain her with the Elmo puppet-book, or just making a general announcement that an Elmo-related demand will be forthcoming
"Nooooooooo" - Not really ; most common response to any request relating to tasks she has no interest in completing, such as listening, behaving or playing in a fashion that does not carry a high risk of concussion
"Mo" - Elmo (context-sensitive usage) ; depending on the situation, she is either demanding that you give her the Elmo toothpaste bottle, demanding that you prepare the laptop and turn on the Elmo learning software, demanding that you find Elmo on the television, demanding that you entertain her with the Elmo puppet-book, or just making a general announcement that an Elmo-related demand will be forthcoming
"Nooooooooo" - Not really ; most common response to any request relating to tasks she has no interest in completing, such as listening, behaving or playing in a fashion that does not carry a high risk of concussion
"NO!" - NO! ; proceed with caution as you have now crossed into the danger zone by either taking away whatever dangerous object she was playing with or by not giving her a cracker in an expeditious fashion
"No?" - Yes ; trick response intended to confuse and manipulate the target. If you fall for the ploy, expect a swift and judicious response, most often an unholy display of baby strength. If you do not fall for the trap, she may grace you with a begrudging "Thank" (see above for definition)
December 5, 2012
Public Apology
Here is a breakdown of a typical day for Mr. Cufflinks:
To all of our family and friends who wonder why the M.O.M. and I are no longer the fun-loving couple they met 7 years ago and are, instead, a pair of reclusive hermits who cautiously step into the weekend sunlight blinking and sniffing the air: we are sorry.
- 6:00am to 7:30am : Wake up, get the kids ready for the day
- 7:30am to 8:30am : Travel to work
- 8:30am to 6:00pm : Smartify the future by helping these awesome folks (CFY) run this awesome online learning platform (PowerMyLearning)
- 6:00pm to 6:45pm : Travel home
- 6:45pm to 7:15pm : Dinner
- 7:15pm to 8:30pm : Homework, bath times, story times, bed times
- 8:30pm to 10:00pm : Exercise, shower, read, talk to the M.O.M. and make plans to watch a movie before we pass out, pass out
- 10:00pm to 6:00am : Fitful sleep interrupted by random demands for cups of water, unexpected interpretive dances celebrating the loss of teeth and the terrifying sound of Princess Teacup giggling in her sleep
To all of our family and friends who wonder why the M.O.M. and I are no longer the fun-loving couple they met 7 years ago and are, instead, a pair of reclusive hermits who cautiously step into the weekend sunlight blinking and sniffing the air: we are sorry.
But now you know why.
December 4, 2012
What I Learned Today (23)
Today, I learned that 5 year-old boys will immediately celebrate the loss of a front tooth with loud declarations and strange dances. Whether the tooth is lost at 4:30 in the afternoon or (as in this instance) at 3:08am while the entire house is asleep does not matter to the celebratory, toothless little boy.
December 3, 2012
Hardware Store Aquarium
Me: "Do you know why I brought you to the hardware store with me?"
Sippy Cup: "Not really."
Me: "Well, I think you're old enough to start helping me with projects around the house."
Sippy Cup (enthralled by the power tools all around him): "Cooooool."
Me (smiling): "Yeah, it is cool."
Sippy Cup: "Wow Dad, look at all this stuff!"
Me (walking proudly, nodding to the burly contractors in the aisle): "I'm glad you like it."
Sippy Cup (whispering): "Awesome..."
Me (squatting down so that we are at eye level): "Look. You're not a baby anymore. You're a big kid. And it's important that you start learning some basic skills about how to fix things around the house. See, these are all the different kinds of wrenches and pliers and hammers and drill bits..."
Sippy Cup (whispering): "Awesome..."
Me (squatting down so that we are at eye level): "Look. You're not a baby anymore. You're a big kid. And it's important that you start learning some basic skills about how to fix things around the house. See, these are all the different kinds of wrenches and pliers and hammers and drill bits..."
Sippy Cup (screaming in joy): "FISH! THEY HAVE A FISH TANK! OH MY GOD! THEY HAVE A FISH TANK! FIIIIIISSSSSHHHH!!!"
Me (sighing): "Yes. For some reason, they have an aquarium. In a hardware store."
Sippy Cup (making fish faces): "FISHY! FISHY! FISHY! BLOOP BLOOP! BLOOP BLOOP!"
November 30, 2012
Declaration
Good morning.
I, Princess Teacup, hereby decree that no one (including, but not limited to, "The Lady" [also known as Nina], "Papah" [also known as Nino], "Mama, Mama, MAMA!" [also known as the M.O.M.] and "Daaeeee" [also known as Mr. Cufflinks] ) shall ever show any type of love and/or affection to That Guy (also known as Sippy Cup).
I love That Guy. He's my best friend. He plays with me and helps me build dinosaurs out of blocks. He always shares his cookies and cereal with me. He even keeps the bad guys away when I'm asleep.
However, if you ever hug, hold, kiss, or love That Guy in front of me ever again, I will unleash the most brilliantly coordinated offensive assault you will ever have the unfortunate luck of experiencing.
This is effective immediately.
xoxo (like that lady says it in the show that my Mama likes),
Princess Teacup
I, Princess Teacup, hereby decree that no one (including, but not limited to, "The Lady" [also known as Nina], "Papah" [also known as Nino], "Mama, Mama, MAMA!" [also known as the M.O.M.] and "Daaeeee" [also known as Mr. Cufflinks] ) shall ever show any type of love and/or affection to That Guy (also known as Sippy Cup).
I love That Guy. He's my best friend. He plays with me and helps me build dinosaurs out of blocks. He always shares his cookies and cereal with me. He even keeps the bad guys away when I'm asleep.
However, if you ever hug, hold, kiss, or love That Guy in front of me ever again, I will unleash the most brilliantly coordinated offensive assault you will ever have the unfortunate luck of experiencing.
This is effective immediately.
xoxo (like that lady says it in the show that my Mama likes),
Princess Teacup
November 29, 2012
A Letter to Future Sippy Cup (16)
Hey kid,
Last night, you started and finished your homework completely by yourself.
You made no mistakes.
Although it hurts me that I'm not able to come home from work in time to help you, I am also incredibly proud of you right now.
Love,
Dad
Last night, you started and finished your homework completely by yourself.
You made no mistakes.
Although it hurts me that I'm not able to come home from work in time to help you, I am also incredibly proud of you right now.
Love,
Dad
November 28, 2012
November 27, 2012
Top 10 Reasons to Never Share Your Bed with Your Children
- Even though the bathroom is a mere 10 feet away, peeing in the bed is always the quicker and warmer option.
- Small children, like birds, will wake up the instant the sun crosses the horizon. Even on a cloudy day.
- Other than a professional MMA fight, there is no surer way to guarantee a swift and unexpected kick to the face.
- Their concept of "sharing the bed" is based, not on an equal 50/50 ratio, but on a 90/10 ratio in their favor instead.
- Sometimes, for no reason, they will start talking to you at 3 o'clock in the morning.
- Their preferred sleep position is based on Leonardo Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man.
- While they will sweetly curl up next to their mother, they will reserve all bodily functions and fluids for your side of the bed.
- Small children have no respect for the concept of the "weekend".
- Although the sound of your child giggling is adorable during the day, it is absolutely terrifying when they giggle in the middle of the night while dreaming.
- Once they learn to sleep in their own bedroom, you will miss them terribly and write Top 10 lists reminiscing about the nights they slept next to you.
November 26, 2012
And... here... we... go!
While I tend to keep my nerdery a secret, I have been a fan of Batman and comic books in general since I was Sippy Cup's age. While I no longer have comic book storage boxes, boards and bags lying around the house, I will admit that the Comixology app is the only reason I own an iPad.
Needless to say, I was pretty excited when the awesome folks at BSM Media invited us to host a Mattel Batman Power Attack Toy Party for Sippy Cup and his friends. As with the Green Lantern toy party we hosted last year (click here), we received no compensation for this party. However, since it has been 48 hours and Sippy Cup and Princess Tea Cup are still playing with their new toys, I would like to say that "peace and quiet" are priceless forms of indirect compensation.
The new Power Attack action figure line from Mattel did not disappoint. The Power Attack line is not tied-in with any of the current Batman media, movies or cartoons so it is a great place to bridge the gap between the Imaginext Line of Batman toys (which is geared more towards young, budding fans) and the more adult-focused comic books and movies.
The action figures were colorful, sturdy, highly-detailed and artfully stylized. The "Deluxe" versions of the toys also have "action movements"; so, when you squeeze the figures legs, the Joker will swing his hammer and Batman will throw a punch. This was a HUGE hit with Sippy Cup and his friends as it allowed them to manifest their devious imaginations easily. The only negative comment the kids had during the course of the party was that it was difficult to place each characters included accessory (i.e. shield, sword, hammer, etc.) into the figure's hand. In spite of this small difficulty, the kids had a great time and Sippy Cup and I both highly recommend the line of toys.
As always, please follow the jump for photos of the party.
Needless to say, I was pretty excited when the awesome folks at BSM Media invited us to host a Mattel Batman Power Attack Toy Party for Sippy Cup and his friends. As with the Green Lantern toy party we hosted last year (click here), we received no compensation for this party. However, since it has been 48 hours and Sippy Cup and Princess Tea Cup are still playing with their new toys, I would like to say that "peace and quiet" are priceless forms of indirect compensation.
The new Power Attack action figure line from Mattel did not disappoint. The Power Attack line is not tied-in with any of the current Batman media, movies or cartoons so it is a great place to bridge the gap between the Imaginext Line of Batman toys (which is geared more towards young, budding fans) and the more adult-focused comic books and movies.
The action figures were colorful, sturdy, highly-detailed and artfully stylized. The "Deluxe" versions of the toys also have "action movements"; so, when you squeeze the figures legs, the Joker will swing his hammer and Batman will throw a punch. This was a HUGE hit with Sippy Cup and his friends as it allowed them to manifest their devious imaginations easily. The only negative comment the kids had during the course of the party was that it was difficult to place each characters included accessory (i.e. shield, sword, hammer, etc.) into the figure's hand. In spite of this small difficulty, the kids had a great time and Sippy Cup and I both highly recommend the line of toys.
As always, please follow the jump for photos of the party.
November 25, 2012
Guess who's back?
So, after an unplanned hiatus, Sippy Cup and I are back.
Over the next few days, you will see a few cosmetic changes to the site as we pick up from where we left off.
We're excited to be back and we hope you tag along for all of the new adventures that I'm sure await us.
- Mr. Cufflink
Over the next few days, you will see a few cosmetic changes to the site as we pick up from where we left off.
We're excited to be back and we hope you tag along for all of the new adventures that I'm sure await us.
- Mr. Cufflink
August 21, 2012
August 19, 2012
August 11, 2012
My Life
Sometimes, it's hard to turn what I experience into structured stories. For example, right now, as I type this, my son is wearing this (click here) while dancing to this (click here). This is my life ladies and gentlemen.
August 7, 2012
What I Learned Today (22)
Today, I learned that you shouldn't tell your son that he cannot eat cookies before dinner whilst eating a cookie before dinner yourself.
August 6, 2012
DC Olympics 2012
Sippy Cup: "Dad! I unlocked the Justice League!"
Me: "Awesome! You know what's even more important? The Olympics! Let's put them on."
Sippy Cup: "Nah, the Justice League is more important."
Me: "Are you crazy? These are epic moments in history.
Do you know who the fastest man in the world is?"
Sippy Cup: "Yeah. The Flash."
Me: "How do I still walk right into these..."
Sippy Cup: "Justice League! Woo hoo!"
August 3, 2012
What I Learned Today (21)
Today, I learned that (no matter how hilarious it may seem) "No thank you!" is never the appropriate response when the M.O.M. asks you to change Princess Teacup's diaper.
August 2, 2012
Editor's Note - Writing Exercise
In an effort to write/post on a more consistent basis, I am going to embark on a writing exercise.
My hope is that both you (the audience) and the future version of Sippy Cup will indulge this small departure from our regularly scheduled programming.
More often than not, the majority of my adventures with Sippy Cup do not get posted for one of the following main reasons:
My hope is that both you (the audience) and the future version of Sippy Cup will indulge this small departure from our regularly scheduled programming.
More often than not, the majority of my adventures with Sippy Cup do not get posted for one of the following main reasons:
- The humor does not translate properly into the written form.
- There is a good chance that it can be used as evidence in future legal proceedings against me.
- I don't want the M.O.M. to know what her lovely little boy has said in the presence of strangers.
Nevertheless, I would like to post more often and would like for Sippy Cup to have a wealth of reading material when he gets older.
What I propose to do is this: one sentence. Every day. One sentence which will capture that day's adventure, mood, lesson, embarrassment and/or joy.
If the moment can be translated appropriately while maintaining its sincerity and humor, than the post will be written in the traditional fashion you have all come to expect and enjoy.
If it cannot, then at the very least, you will have one sentence which will offer a peek into what our day has been like.
Consider these posts Hemingway Haikus. Without all of the constraints of syllable counts and lion hunting. If you don't know who Hemingway was or what Haikus are then that previous sentence just made me sound like a crazy person.
- Note to self: teach Sippy Cup who Hemingway was and what Haikus are. -
Anyway, I hope you guys continue to enjoy this site as much as we're enjoying the life that serves as its source material.
August 1, 2012
Because
Sippy Cup (concentrating as he plays LEGO Batman 2: DC Super Heroes): "Dad, I can't beat this guy!"
Me (reading a magazine while sitting on the couch): "You have to keep trying. You'll only get better through practice."
Sippy Cup (pleading): "Come on! Just help me!"
Me (without looking up): "Dude, I don't even know how to play this game."
Sippy Cup (holding the game controller in front of my face): "Come on. You have to."
Me (still reading): "I have to? And why is that?"
Sippy Cup: "Because you're my Daddy. And you're supposed to help me."
5 seconds of silence
Me (putting the magazine down): "Give me the controller."
July 21, 2012
Summer Love
Me: "Hey little man, do you know who's going to be at the party today?"
Sippy Cup: "Who?"
M.O.M. & Me (in sing-song unison): "Your girlfriend!"
Sippy Cup: "Stop calling her that!"
M.O.M.: "Are you going to dance with her?"
Sippy Cup: "No! I'm just going to sit there!"
- 10 second pause -
Sippy Cup: "And then, if I feel like it, I'm going to show her my cool moves."
July 16, 2012
A Letter to Future Sippy Cup (15)
Hey kid,
Last night, we lay on the couch together and watched television until we both got sleepy.
These days, you have the perpetual sticky sweet smell of all 5 year-olds whose days are spent running around in the summer sun. In spite of this, last night, curled up next to me, with your head resting comfortably in the bend of my left arm, you smelled exactly the way you did when you were first born.
In the past year, my time has been preoccupied with work and the challenges of raising a daughter.
And words cannot express just how much I have missed you.
No matter what tomorrow brings, no matter where in the world you are when you read this, please know that your father loves you.
Love,
Dad
July 12, 2012
July 9, 2012
Careless Whispers
Jean Paul Richter once wrote
"The words a father speaks to his children in the privacy of the home are not overheard at the time, but, as in whispering galleries, they will be clearly heard at the end and by posterity."
This quote always unnerved me. And this past weekend, at my cousin's wedding, I discovered why.
Wedding M.C. : "And now, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to play a quick game!"
Sippy Cup: "Oooh! They play games here?!"
Wedding M.C. : "I'm going to call out different parts of the tri-state area and we'll see which neighborhood is the loudest!"
Sippy Cup: "Yay!"
Wedding M.C. : "Is Jersey here?"
Sippy Cup: "Who's that?"
Wedding M.C. : "Anyone from Manhattan here?!"
Sippy Cup: "Daddy, you work in Manhattan!"
Wedding M.C. : "Is Queens in the house?!"
Sippy Cup (pumping his right arm emphatically) : "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAH MOTHERFU-"
- The crowd goes wild -
Sippy Cup: "-CKER!"
Me (sighing): "Mommy should probably start watching her language around you."
M.O.M. : "I think we should start a 'Swear Jar' for me."
Sippy Cup: "Queens! Queens! Queens!"
July 4, 2012
Patriotic Cup
Howard Zinn once wrote "Dissent is the highest form of patriotism."
If this statement is true then Sippy Cup is the most patriotic person I have ever met.
Happy Independence Day everyone!
If this statement is true then Sippy Cup is the most patriotic person I have ever met.
Happy Independence Day everyone!
July 2, 2012
The More Things Change...
Sippy Cup (quietly playing on the iPad)
Me: "You know what little dude?"
Sippy Cup: "What?"
Me: "Eventually Daddy is going to need a new and improved one of those."
M.O.M. (without looking up from her book): "No he won't."
Me (ignoring the M.O.M.) : "And, when that time comes, you'll be able to keep that one for yourself! How awesome is that?!"
Sippy Cup (quietly thinking)
Me: "You don't think that's awesome?"
Sippy Cup (smiling broadly): "How about I get the new one instead?"
Me (sighing): "Some things will never change, huh?"
Sippy Cup (shaking his head and going back to the iPad): "Probably not."
June 26, 2012
Bad News Sippy Cup
While part of our absence has been due to Princess Teacup's ever increasing list of daily demands, transitions into new jobs and good old fashioned procrastination, we have been keeping busy.
How you might ask?
Well, here's a hint:
Needless to say...it's been a fun couple of months...
How you might ask?
Well, here's a hint:
Needless to say...it's been a fun couple of months...
June 24, 2012
Jiminy Sippy Cup
Me (pointing enthusiastically): "Dude, check it out, there's a wishing well in the front yard of that house!"
Sippy Cup (unimpressed): "Yeah. I saw it the other day when I came home from school."
Me: "Do you know what you can do with a wishing well?"
Sippy Cup: "Yeah. You take a coin, drop it in the well and then you make a wish."
Me: "What would you wish for?"
Sippy Cup (stopping to think): "A star."
Me: "You'd wish for a star? Why?"
Sippy Cup: "A shooting star. So that I could make more wishes whenever I wanted."
Me (sighing): "Oh. Of course."
June 21, 2012
Dinner Reservations
Me (enjoying dinner and casually taking a sip of my father's soda)
Sippy Cup (with a face of pure shock and shouting): "Dad! No! Don't drink that! It's full of sugar!"
Me (pointing to his small glass of Iced Tea): "Chill out, Bloomberg. What do you think that is?"
Sippy Cup (pointing to his glass): "This?"
Me: "Yes."
Sippy Cup (taking a long gulp of Iced Tea and then wiping his mouth):
"This? This is delicious. That's what it is."
April 16, 2012
Happy 5th Birthday Sippy Cup
In spite of all of my supposed eloquence, on days like today, I realize that I will never have the right words to express just how much I love my son.
My only hope is that these random ramblings that I have posted throughout the past few years will serve as a field guide for him when the time comes.
Happy Birthday little dude...
My only hope is that these random ramblings that I have posted throughout the past few years will serve as a field guide for him when the time comes.
Happy Birthday little dude...
March 4, 2012
February 28, 2012
February 26, 2012
February 14, 2012
Captain Valentine
Kids are really into new adventures.
Most especially when they involve unexpected Valentine's Day presents starring their favorite super hero of all time.
And what says "I love you" better than Captain America?
Happy Valentine's Day everyone...
* Editor's Note - it should be pretty obvious that he refused to let me read the books until he was appropriately dressed. *
February 5, 2012
Jurassic Jokes
Earlier this morning, Sippy Cup accompanied me to do the laundry.
When we got on the elevator heading to the basement, we were joined by a rather portly gentleman, with dark curly hair, glasses and wearing a vintage Member's Only jacket.
Sippy Cup smiled at the gentleman and then looked up at me, motioning for me to lean down as if he had something important to say.
It has become clear to me that his sense of humor has advanced beyond "Knock-Knock" jokes and unanticipated groin punches.
And, for some strange reason, I am so proud of him.
When we got on the elevator heading to the basement, we were joined by a rather portly gentleman, with dark curly hair, glasses and wearing a vintage Member's Only jacket.
Sippy Cup smiled at the gentleman and then looked up at me, motioning for me to lean down as if he had something important to say.
Sippy Cup (whispering): "Daddy..."
Me: "What's up bud?"
Sippy Cup (whispering): "He looks like the guy from Jurassic Park..."
It has become clear to me that his sense of humor has advanced beyond "Knock-Knock" jokes and unanticipated groin punches.
And, for some strange reason, I am so proud of him.
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