June 30, 2010

What I Learned Today (11)

Today, I learned that my son has 3 different categories for his clothing: 1. "Inside Shirts" 2. "Outside Shirts" and 3. "Sleepers" (a.k.a. pajamas).  I also learned that there will be hell to pay if I should ever have the audacity to attempt to dress him in an "Inside Shirt" if we are planning on going outside.

June 29, 2010

Common Spence

Lil Sippy Cup and I have this habit of getting into pretty serious debates. 

Its our thing. 

While the subject matter tends to vary from day to day, we still manage to find ourselves at the crossroads of differing opinions constantly.

Today's debate?  I think it had something to do with taking a nap. 

But I can't be too sure.

Me: "Little dude, its time for a nap."

Lil Sippy Cup: "No it isn't."

Me: "I know how to tell time.  You do not.  Obviously, I know what I'm talking about."

Lil Sippy Cup: "No you don't."

Me: "I see what you're trying to do."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Splish splash sploosh!"

Me: "What?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Whaaaaaaat?!"

Me: "You aren't even making any sense right now."

Lil Sippy Cup: "You aren't making any spence right now!"

June 28, 2010


I hear legends of children who sleep quietly through the night and wake up their fathers with light kisses and hugs.

I do not believe in these myths.

What do I believe in?

I believe in the fact that I woke up to Lil Sippy Cup doing an intense interpretive dance on my stomach, while eating a piece of Wonder Bread and not wearing a single shred of clothing.

That's what I believe.

June 27, 2010

Sippy Cup Hoffman

Of all of the things that he has genetically inherited, Lil Sippy Cup's slight disregard for authority has, for obvious reasons, proven itself to be the most problematic.

When he is able to combine this revolutionary streak with his developing sarcastic wit, it is a recipe for disaster.

Yesterday, in a moment of exasperated weakness, we had the following exchange.

Me: "If I hear another word out of you little man, you're going to be punished.  Not one more word!"

Lil Sippy Cup (remaining silent until I turn around): "...Okay!"

Like most other occasions, the power of his verbal outmaneuver lies in its simplicity. 

And its genius.

June 26, 2010


Some of you may remember two of my earlier posts (here and here) where I explained that Lil Sippy Cup does not care whether or not he is sartorially prepared for playground sprinklers when he makes his decision to play in water.

Yesterday, it was roughly 2,000 degrees in New York City.  We decided to celebrate this fact by going to the local playground which features a rather powerful sprinkler system.

This time, I was prepared, with towels and a change of clothes.

This time, we were both dressed for the occasion, with swimming trunks and water shoes.

This time, Lil Sippy Cup decided that he did not want to play in the water.

And just like that, Lil Sippy Cup took my methodical preparation and promptly threw it out the proverbial window.

Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy the pictures.

I grew up playing in this playground.  Of course, back in the early 90s, there were a lot more jagged pieces of metal sticking out of random corners. 

I prefer this version.

Clearly, my son marches to the beat of a different drummer.
And that drummer goes up slides, not down them.

Playing in the park?  Awesome.
Getting melty-gooey-gum stuck on your sneaker?  Not so much.

One of the advantages of being small is that you can crawl through the jungle gym with minimal difficulty.
One of the disadvantages of being a fully grown adult male is that you will have to chase your son through the jungle gym with incredible difficulty.

In spite of the sprinkler protest, we had an awesome time.

June 25, 2010

A Letter to Future Sippy Cup (2)

Hey kid,

Yesterday you asked whether or not "...fireflies need batteries?"  The world has a way of dulling our imaginations if we aren't careful.  I hope this serves as a gentle reminder that, no matter how old you are when you read this, you should re-ignite yours.


June 24, 2010

What I Learned Today (10)

Today, I learned that even though Lil Sippy Cup firmly believes that a fraction of morning sunlight means that it is time to wake-up, a fraction of moonlight does not mean it is time to go to bed.

June 23, 2010

World Sippy Cup

After watching 6 hours of World Cup coverage every day thus far, here are the

5 Things Lil Sippy Cup and I Have Learned While Watching the World Cup Together

1.  Lil Sippy Cup thinks that Clint Dempsey is related to his father.

2.  Lil Sippy Cup thinks that it is perfectly reasonable and logical to scream "Gooooooooaaaaaaallll!" every single time the ball is touched, regardless of whether a team has scored or not.

3.  Lil Sippy Cup knows how to kick his soccer ball really, really hard.

4.  Mr. Cufflink knows that getting hit in the face with a soccer ball really, really hurts.

5.  Even a 3 year-old, who is prone to moments of unwarranted and incomprehensible noise-making, knows that the vuvuzelas are rather annoying.

Enjoy the rest of the Cup everyone.

June 22, 2010


Yes, the "Obamicon" thing got a little out of hand during the campaign.

But this remains one of my favorite mini-projects ever.

June 21, 2010

Never Retreat, Never Surrender

There is a scene in the glorious film 300 where we see King Leonidas wrestling with his son in the courtyard.

Inspired by the movie and in celebration of all things manly and awesome, I decided that it would be a good idea to wrestle Lil Sippy Cup this morning.

It was fun for about 15 seconds. 

You see, at that point, Lil Sippy Cup used all of his ungodly strength to jump on the bed, thereby propelling himself incredibly high into the air and came crashing back down, with his right knee, squarely in the middle of my back.

For several seconds, I lay on the bed silent and motionless, convinced that my son had paralyzed me and wondering how I could call for help when my very soul had been knocked clear out of my body.

Lil Sippy Cup, in his defense, was extremely gracious after his victory and gently kissed me on the forehead.

Then, for good measure, he jumped up and kneed me in the back again.

As I lay there, twitching, I wished I had readied a better breakfast and ate a little heartier because I knew that, tonight, I would dine through a straw.

June 20, 2010

Reflection Eternal

Life is awesome.

You take this man...

....and he eventually helps to create this little man...

...who, in turn, grows up and eventually helps to create this little dude...

...let's see where the legend goes from here... 

Happy Father's Day.

June 19, 2010

Young Master Thorn

Mr. Cufflink takes a lot of pictures of Lil Sippy Cup.  A lot.

Nevertheless, there are times when he lets me know that he has had quite enough with the damn picture-taking.

I've learned to pick up on the non-verbal cues.

But then I take the picture anyway.

June 18, 2010

Sacrificial Berry

Earlier today, Lil Sippy Cup requested a snack. 

Being the generally awesome dad that I am, I offered him this delicious bowl of mixed berries.

He immediately protested the presence of the "fuzzy berries". 

My own immaturity caused an unexpected outburst of laughter at his imaginative terminology.

Unfortunately, this apparently angered him. 

In a move indicative of his resolve, he quietly sacrificed a berry to make a statement and, perhaps, to send a message.

I am not too sure where the rest of the "fuzzy berries" have disappeared to. 

However, I am sure that their disappearance does not bode well for the next time I clean the house.

June 17, 2010

Free Samples

The other weekend, we took a trip to Costco

While walking up and down the massive aisles, Lil Sippy Cup and I bumped into a young sales associate handing out free samples of whole-grain pita chips.

The chips were fantastic and unexpectedly delicious. 

Unfortunately, now Lil Sippy Cup thinks it is common practice to receive free samples at all stores. 

Not to mention the fact that he thinks it's perfectly okay to take food from strangers.

Lil Sippy Cup: "Dad, I want to go to the store and get the chips from the man."

Me: "Uhm, well, that doesn't happen at every store.  Those were just samples."

Lil Sippy Cup: "But I want the chips from the man."

Me: "Well, you should know that doesn't happen at every store and, more importantly, you shouldn't take food from strangers."

Lil Sippy Cup: "But you took the chips from the man."

Me: "Yeah, well, that was because...uhm..."

Lil Sippy Cup (interrupting): "And you took a lot of chips from him."

Me: "You see, the thing is..."

Lil Sippy Cup (interrupting again): "A whole lot of chips."

June 16, 2010

Wash and Dry

Yesterday, I alluded to the fact that Lil Sippy Cup ran head-first into the sprinklers at the playground with no regard as to whether or not he was wearing swim trunks.

What I did not detail was the solution I discovered to help him dry off properly and thoroughly.

I have my moments of creative problem solving.

This random assortment of rocks in Central Park helped as well.

June 15, 2010

What I Learned Today (9)

Today, I learned that 3 year-old boys will run head-first into playground sprinklers regardless of whether or not they are wearing swim appropriate attire.

On a related note, I also learned that a towel and a pair of swim trunks are vital pieces of my "Summer Playground Survival Kit".

June 14, 2010

The Coneknees Fund

Remember this post ?

Well, Lil Sippy Cup and I sat down this morning to discuss what options were available to him with regards to his massive fortune.

Since his mother and I are responsible for his college fund, we mutually agreed that his piggy bank coneknees (what you and I would refer to as coins) should be used to purchase something fun and exciting.

After a solid hour of conversation and debate, we came to the conclusion that the best way to spend the money was to purchase a puppy.

While we are a long way from our financial target, I think this will be a good way to teach him the value of saving his money and working towards a goal.

Plus I finally get the puppy I've always wanted since I was 5 years old.

This is going to be the start of another fun adventure for Mr. Cufflink and Lil Sippy Cup.

June 13, 2010

Summer Soft

We had a great weekend playing outdoors. 

It seems that the recipe of combining good friends, good weather and good food will continue to produce great results.

When I look at this picture, I can vividly hear Stevie Wonder's "Summer Soft" playing in the background.

What song does it make you think of? Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments section.

June 12, 2010

A Letter to the Community Health Street Fair

Dear Sirs,

I whole-heartedly agree that community health street fairs are a great idea and that the message of safe-sex should be spread throughout all urban communities.

I'm just not too sure I agree with the use of a megaphone and concert speakers to deliver said message before 10am.

Sex-ed is important.  I just didn't expect to have to cross that bridge so soon.

Mr. Cufflink and his overly informed 3 year-old son

June 11, 2010

ZZ Toplink

One of the added benefits of not having to report into an office on a daily basis is that I am able to forego shaving for days at a time.

Lil Sippy Cup, however, has specific expectations for my personal appearance.

Me: "Lil dude!  Good morning!  How are you?"

Lil Sippy Cup (rubbing his eyes): "What's that?"

Me: "Hmm?"

Lil Sippy Cup (pointing at my face): "That.  What is that?"

Me: "Uhm, my face?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "No.  The thing on your face."

Me: "My beard?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Yeah."

We stare at each other in silence for a few minutes.

Lil Sippy Cup: "I don't like it."

Me: "Yeah, I figured."

We stare at each other in silence for another minute or two.

Lil Sippy Cup: "Daddy, I don't like it."

Me: "Yeah, I'm gonna go shave."

As a parent, you learn to pick and choose your battles. 

Debating the awesomeness of my beard just wasn't a priority this morning.

Besides, it was getting kind of itchy.

June 10, 2010

The Incredibles

In an unexpected reversal of roles, Lil Sippy Cup has created aliases for me, his mother and himself.

I was informed of them this morning after I found him jumping on his bed, sans-clothing.

Me: "Ok.  It's going to be one of those days."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Haha!"

Me: "Dude, please stop jumping on the bed.  And, after that, put some clothes on."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Ok, Bing Bang Carlito."

Me: "What?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "You.  Bing Bang Carlito!"

Me: "I'm Bing Bang Carlito?  Excellent.  So who's Mommy?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Taco!"

Me: "Mommy is Taco.  Superb."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Haha!"

Me: "And you are?"

Lil Sippy Cup (still jumping on the bed): "Me? I'm Naked Boy!"

Me: "Of course you are.  Fantastic."

Lil Sippy Cup (leaping towards me): "Naaaaaaaked Boooy!"

June 9, 2010


I took this picture of Lil Sippy Cup this past Saturday when it was 231 degrees outside (give or take).

I was immediately reminded of Hunter S. Thompson.

Or maybe Johnny Depp playing Hunter S. Thompson in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

For reasons that may or may not be obvious...I'm going to go with Johnny Depp.

June 8, 2010

First Aid

Lil Sippy Cup has a new found fascination with Band-Aids.

Lately, since we have spent a lot more time traveling on the train and hanging out in outer-borough playgrounds, I have begun to carry a pretty decently stocked dopp kit full of the things we might need throughout the day: Hand Sanitizer, First-Aid Spray, Band-Aids, Flares, that sort of stuff.

The Lightning McQueen Band-Aids are, without a doubt, his favorite part of the kit.

However, he uses the Band-Aids for decorative purposes as opposed to actual medical need. 

For example, I recently found him with 6 Band-Aids fully covering one elbow.

In response to this, I've had to hide the box in the upper reaches of the medicine cabinet.

Nevertheless, he found them.

Lil Sippy Cup: "Dad, are those the Band-Aids?"

Me: "Yes.  Yes they are."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Can I have one please?"

Me: "No lil dude.  I already explained to you that those are only for when you get really hurt."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Oh.  I'm hurt now."

Me: "No you aren't.  Band-Aids cover the big scrapes and cuts that bleed."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Oh ok."

Leaves the bathroom.

Lil Sippy Cup (shouting in terror from the hallway): "Mom!  Mom!  I'm bleeding!  I'm bleeding!  Aaaaaahhhhhh!"

June 7, 2010

What I Learned Today (8)

Today, I learned that Dr. Seuss' literary masterpiece The Cat in the Hat is 61 pages long. 

Sixty-one pages. 

I also learned that, no matter how patiently I try to explain it to him, Lil Sippy Cup does not understand what Laryngitis is or what causes it.

June 6, 2010

Photography 101

Take as many pictures of your child as technologically possible before he learns the power of sporadic and spastic movements.

One day, you will both appreciate your careful planning.

June 5, 2010

Saturday Morning Cartoon

(click image for larger version)

* Editor's Note: J. Mejia is a Beer Mug and Mr. Cufflink's cousin.  He is an amazing cartoonist, illustrator, artist, and whatever other title you may want to bestow upon him. This will not be the last time you hear of him or see his work.

** Editor's 2nd Note: Yep, this is our 100th post.  Thanks for the support.  Hope you stick around for the rest of the ride.

June 4, 2010


Today is our 99th post.

And, since we both know how to count with a certain amount of skill and confidence, that makes tomorrow's post our 100th post.

We will be celebrating the event in a special way.

Remember this?

World Premiere Tomorrow.

Stay tuned.

June 3, 2010


I think one of the greatest parts of having had my son at the relatively young age of 25 is that he has been able to meet his 90 year-old great-grandmother.

I won't bore you with the specifics of how much I love this woman or the role she played in raising me.

Just know that I have 10 (maternal) aunts and uncles.  And well over 30 cousins.  She is a professional at this thing called life.

A few years ago, she was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease, so her moments of lucidity have become further spaced apart.  Regardless, I asked her for parenting advice, something I could utilize with the lunatic affectionally known as Lil Sippy Cup.  This is what she told me:

"Just love him, that's all.  Remember that you were him and that he'll be you.  Just love him."

Simple.  Direct.  Precise.  Brilliant.

June 2, 2010


As a dad, I try my best to make sure I expose my son to all the amazing sights and sounds life has to offer. 

Every day, I aim to present him with something mind-blowingly awesome, to overwhelm all of his senses with a dangerous dosage of stimulation, to create for him a new set of experiences that will become fondly referenced memories when he has kids of his own.

However, I've come to learn that this does not always mean a trip to the circus or a ride on a spaceship.

Sometimes, a simple trip to the book store will do the trick.

You see, it's easy to forget that, when you're 3 years-old, just being able to go for a ride in the car and picking up some new books for your bookshelf is just the right amount of awesome.

Of course, the trips to the circus and the rides on the spaceships will come in due time. 

I just hope he remembers these quieter moments as well.

Especially since he came home with an embarrassing amount of new Thomas the Tank Engine books.

As always, more pictures after the jump.

June 1, 2010


Lil Sippy Cup is a rather tough little dude. 

I have seen him sustain several playground-related injuries that would have made his dad pretty much give up on outdoor play had they occurred to him when he was 3.

However, I'm starting to think that, like most little boys his age, his toughness is only displayed when he's in front of his father.

Earlier today, I got to witness first-hand the degree to which my son will exaggerate his injuries when his mother is home.

While playing in the living room, Lil Sippy Cup dropped one of his toys near the coffee table.  He slowly bent down to pick it up and, misjudging the distance of the table, he lightly banged his forehead against the corner.

I will readily admit that banging your forehead into anything will hurt but, in the history of injuries that the boy has suffered, this little tap was laughably soft.

Lil Sippy Cup, however, knew that he had a golden opportunity on his hands and decided to capitalize on the moment.

Lil Sippy Cup: "Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!"

Me: "Dude, you're ok, stop it."

Lil Sippy Cup (rubbing his forehead with his right hand): "Ooowwwww!!!"

Me: "Seriously, I know you're ok."

Lil Sippy Cup (now clutching his head in both hands): "Aaaaaarrrrggggghhhh!!!"

Mommy (shouting from the room): "Is he okay?!"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Mommy!!!"

Me: "He's fine!"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Mommy!!!"

Mommy (worriedly): "Did you check him?"

Me: "Trust me, he's fine!"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Mommy!  I broke it!  I broke my head!"

For the record, he didn't break his head.  He was totally fine. 

Nevertheless, I learned a valuable lesson.