December 31, 2012

@SIPPY_CUPS

Sippy Cup is a huge fan of cameras.

Film-based.  Digital.  Point and shoot.  DSLR.  It doesn't matter.

If he can point it and create a photo, he loves it.

Of course, the natural next step in this artistic evolution is Instagram.

So that's exactly what we've done: you can now follow @SIPPY_CUPS on Instagram.

Sippy Cup will be the primary photographer.  He will take the majority of the photos, do all edits, apply any prints, etc.

I will merely be his representative, responsible for curating his collection, typing his comments and #hashtags while also deleting any ridiculous photos of his parents.

I will be the Bischofberger to his Basquiat.  Minus the drugs.

After today, you can click on the Instagram badge we've added to the home page to see all of his photos.

Like almost every other idea we've had, this ought to be fun.

Stay tuned.  Click "like".  And spread the word.  We are both ego-based creatures and work best with positive reinforcement.

December 28, 2012

Growing Up Means (1)

Hey little dude,

I know that growing up seems awesome.

Daddy gets to stay up late, play violent video games, use power tools, etc.

But there are some AMAZING things you can do as a kid that you probably shouldn't do as an adult.

For example, look at how much fun the little boy in this video is having:

"Best Friends" - Video Courtesy of Justin Burrett

Growing up means you will go out of your way to not step in a puddle.

Try not to grow up too fast.  Puddles are awesome.

Love,
Dad

PS - just because puddles are awesome doesn't mean you should jump in them as an adult.  That's just weird.

December 26, 2012

Nanas

Princess Teacup (pointing to the kitchen counter): “Tack ticky blur blurg blurg?”

Me (kneeling down so that we’re at eye level): “Daddy has no idea what that means baby.”

Princess Teacup (holding both of her hands behind her back like a tiny general)
“Pfttp pffttp blur blurg blahrg”

Me (standing back up): “Ok, we both know those aren't words.”

Princess Teacup (pointing with pronounced vehemence): “Tack ticky blahrg pfttp pfttp!”

Me (scanning the counter anxiously): “I have no idea what it is that you want baby.”

Princess Teacup (starts to wail and sob)

M.O.M. (walks into the kitchen): “What happened?  What is it baby?  What does my baby need?”

Princess Teacup (smiles and points to the counter): “Mama.  Nana?”

M.O.M. (handing her a banana): “Here you go baby.”

Princess Teacup (smiling broadly): “Nana!  Thank!”

Me (shocked): “I swear to you, she wasn't saying anything that even resembled a real word!”

M.O.M. (kissing her on the forehead): “It’s ok baby.  Daddy’s a little stupid.”

Sippy Cup (from the dining room): "Ooh!  Burn!"

December 21, 2012

Mind Blowing

General chaos swirls around us as Sippy Cup chases his baby sister around the couch

M.O.M.: "All of my friends that want kids have no idea what it's really like."

Me: "I don't think anyone knows what it's really like.  But I think even the stuff that you think you know, you don't really know until you're living through it."

M.O.M.: "I guess."

Me: "Like when you were pregnant.  You had a baby, a real human being, in your stomach.  
Your stomach!  Dude, you made a baby from the food you ate!"

M.O.M.: "Uhm, that's not really how it works."

Me: "Whatever, this isn't biology class.  You had a freakin' baby inside of you!  
That doesn't blow your mind?!"

M.O.M. (staring at her stomach and sighing): "And they ruined me."

Me: "First of all, you weigh like 100 lbs.  Second of all, that's not the point.  Little dude.  Come here."

Sippy Cup (out of breath): "What's up Dad?"

Me (grabbing him by the shoulders):
"Mommy made you in her belly!  In her belly!  That doesn't blow your mind?"

Sippy Cup (shaking his head): "Nope.  Not really."

Me: "Oh really? So what blows your mind?  What is more amazing than the fact that Mommy made you in her belly?  Her belly dude!"

Sippy Cup (smiling): "Baking.  When you bake a cake.  That blows my mind."

M.O.M.: "I have to admit, that is pretty amazing."

December 20, 2012

A Letter to Future Sippy Cup (19)

Hey kid,

Last night, you tied your sneakers by yourself for the very first time.

I can imagine that by the time you're reading this, you will have conquered this quotidian task.

But you should know that you have spent the past few days practicing how to tie your sneakers and finally, on the night of December 19, 2012, you were blown away when you got it right.

Like most of life's important moments, the real lessons were hidden in a mundane event.

You see, over the past few days, you have learned the value of patience.  Of hard-work.  Of dedication.  Of resilience.

And, tonight, you took another step towards your independence.

I know it sounds like I'm over-dramatizing a simple moment in your development.

But I'm your father.  I have a right to do that.

Love,
Dad




December 19, 2012

The Swear Jar

Me: "So remember how you said we should start a Swear Jar for you?"

M.O.M.: "I don't remember anything of the sort."

Me: "Well I do.  And I have proof.  It's on the Internet."

M.O.M.: "Whatever.  Besides, I don't have enough money to support my habit."

Me: "Hilarious.  Seriously I think it's something we should-"

- Loud crashing sound from the bedroom -

Princess Teacup (whispering): "Oh $#!&"

Me (shaking my head): "We're gonna need a bigger jar."

December 17, 2012

December 14, 2012

This past Friday, our nation was traumatized by yet another shooting tragedy.

The coincidental irony of the M.O.M and I having taken a day off from work to spend time with Sippy Cup has not been lost on me.

I spent the weekend debating whether or not I would write this post.  Its easy to stand on a soap box and ardently proclaim your beliefs and opinions when you have a site like mine.  And its even easier to do so from the safety of my home, when both of my children are safe and sound. 

As a father, I sympathize with all of the parents affected by the events in Newton, Connecticut and our hearts and thoughts have been with them all throughout the weekend.  I, literally, cannot even begin to imagine the pain they're experiencing.  

They say that one of life's greatest sins is when a parent outlives their child.  

The parents in Connecticut know this.  Including Adam Lanza's father, Peter.

In the days to come, in the aftermath of this incomprehensible shooting, it will be easy to demonize Adam Lanza.  I am in no position to say whether that will be justified or not.  

All I know is that there are fathers everywhere trying to make sense of Friday December 14th, 2012.

I am one of those fathers.  And so is Peter Lanza. 

December 14, 2012

A Letter to Future Sippy Cup (18)

Hey kid,

Today, Mommy and Daddy both took a vacation day and surprised you with a trip to the Big Apple Circus.

You are such an amazing little boy.  You are doing so well in school.

And you are the best older brother your sister could have ever wished for.

I know it hasn't been easy for you, having to share your toys and our attention with her.

So, today, it's all about you.  And only you.

Love,
Dad

December 13, 2012

The Evolution of Comedy

I realized the other day that one of the more interesting ways for me to chart my son's growth and development is through his comedic skill.

While it may seem ironic to use a skill that relies heavily on absurd immaturity to track your child's maturation, you are also reading reflections written by a man who called his wife a Mogwai for not wanting to eat left-over chicken late at night.

Let's begin:

Age 1: "Falling Down" - like most babies learning how to walk, Sippy Cup used to fall down.  A lot.  So that he wouldn't get discouraged, we would always offer a loving round of applause whenever he would fall.  In turn, he would laugh.  It didn't take long for him to learn that falling down would make other people laugh too.  It was all downhill after that.

Age 2: "Other People Falling Down" - once he had conquered walking, Sippy Cup realized that when other people fall down, it is pretty damn hilarious.  He became a huge fan of America's Funniest Home Videos around this time.

Age 3: "Hurting Daddy" - at this point, he began to recognize the power of an audience and started honing his crowd control skills.  He quickly learned that randomly drop-kicking me while I took a nap would elicit a raucous round of laughter from the M.O.M.  We went further downhill after that.  He also started taking notes while watching Tom and Jerry cartoons.

Age 4: "Knock Knock Jokes" - thanks to the popularity of Yo Gabba Gabba's Knock Knock Joke of the Day, Sippy Cup began to learn how to structure jokes.  However, he had yet to learn the finer arts of timing, delivery and punchlines.  Here's an example: Stand Up Routine.

Age 5: "Your Face" / "Burn" - this is a complex joke structure requiring mastery of all the subtle mechanics of comedy.  Here is an example from a few days ago which will illustrate my point.  I was so proud.

Me (surveying the aftermath of a toy typhoon): "Dude.  Your room is a mess."

Sippy Cup (looking at the pile on the floor): "Your face is a mess."

Me (astounded but smiling): "What?" 

Sippy Cup (sniffing the air): "Do you smell that?"

Me (afraid of where this is going but sniffing as well): "No...?"

Sippy Cup (screwing his face): "It smells like fire...'CAUSE YOUR FACE GOT BURNED SON!"

Me (laughing): "Freakin' awesome!  High-five!"

Sippy Cup (jumping up to give me a high-five): "HA!"

December 12, 2012

400

On March 22, 2010, we started here.

399 posts later and, somehow, we're still at it.

Thank you to everyone who continues to support this little project of ours; your kind words of encouragement help keep me sane.

Here's to the next 400,
Mr. Cufflinks

PS - to mark the occasion, we've premiered our new banner which was made by this awesome guy, beloved Beer Mug and phenomenal cartoonist.

December 11, 2012

Christmas Light Pets

Last night, we decided to take the kids on a nighttime stroll through our neighborhood to enjoy our neighbors' elaborate holiday light decorations.

Not that I needed any proof, but the Princess is clearly following in the footsteps of her older brother.

Me (pointing to the houses): "Look baby!  Look at all the pretty lights!"

Princess Teacup (silent and unimpressed)

Me (trying my best to impress her): "Look!  Look!  It's Santa Claus!  Its a Snow Man!"

Princess Teacup (still silent and unimpressed)

Me: "Oooh!  Look!  Look baby!  These lights chan-"

Princess Teacup (at the top of her lungs): "AAAAAAAAHHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"

Me: "-ge...? What are you screaming about?"

Princess Teacup (pointing emphatically at a brown chihuahua puppy across the street): 
"-HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAHAHA! DADA! MAMA! DADA! MAMA!"

Me (sighing): "Really?  The puppy?  That's what wins you over?"

Princess Teacup: "Hehe.  Woof woof." 

December 10, 2012

A Letter to Future Sippy Cup (17)

Hey kid,

You are too young to understand this right now so I write these words to the future version of you.

You are my legacy, my chance to do something right for once, my apology to the world for all the wrong I've ever done.

You give my life purpose.  You give my soul strength.

The simple fact is this: you are a newer, better, stronger, and smarter version of me.

Now go out there and prove me right.

Love, 

Dad

December 6, 2012

Rosetta Stone: Princess Teacup Edition

"Thank" - Thank you ;  generally used when you have conceded to her demands and have relinquished control of the TV remote control

"Mo" - Elmo (context-sensitive usage) ; depending on the situation, she is either demanding that you give her the Elmo toothpaste bottle, demanding that you prepare the laptop and turn on the Elmo learning software, demanding that you find Elmo on the television, demanding that you entertain her with the Elmo puppet-book, or just making a general announcement that an Elmo-related demand will be forthcoming

"Nooooooooo" - Not really ; most common response to any request relating to tasks she has no interest in completing, such as listening, behaving or playing in a fashion that does not carry a high risk of concussion

"NO!" - NO! ; proceed with caution as you have now crossed into the danger zone by either taking away whatever dangerous object she was playing with or by not giving her a cracker in an expeditious fashion

"No?" - Yes ; trick response intended to confuse and manipulate the target.  If you fall for the ploy, expect a swift and judicious response, most often an unholy display of baby strength.  If you do not fall for the trap, she may grace you with a begrudging "Thank" (see above for definition)

December 5, 2012

Public Apology

Here is a breakdown of a typical day for Mr. Cufflinks:
  • 6:00am to 7:30am : Wake up, get the kids ready for the day
  • 7:30am to 8:30am : Travel to work
  • 8:30am to 6:00pm : Smartify the future by helping these awesome folks (CFY) run this awesome online learning platform (PowerMyLearning
  • 6:00pm to 6:45pm : Travel home
  • 6:45pm to 7:15pm : Dinner
  • 7:15pm to 8:30pm : Homework, bath times, story times, bed times
  • 8:30pm to 10:00pm : Exercise, shower, read, talk to the M.O.M. and make plans to watch a movie before we pass out, pass out
  • 10:00pm to 6:00am : Fitful sleep interrupted by random demands for cups of water, unexpected interpretive dances celebrating the loss of teeth and the terrifying sound of Princess Teacup giggling in her sleep

To all of our family and friends who wonder why the M.O.M. and I are no longer the fun-loving couple they met 7 years ago and are, instead, a pair of reclusive hermits who cautiously step into the weekend sunlight blinking and sniffing the air: we are sorry.

But now you know why.

December 4, 2012

What I Learned Today (23)

Today, I learned that 5 year-old boys will immediately celebrate the loss of a front tooth with loud declarations and strange dances.  Whether the tooth is lost at 4:30 in the afternoon or (as in this instance) at 3:08am while the entire house is asleep does not matter to the celebratory, toothless little boy.

December 3, 2012

Hardware Store Aquarium

Me: "Do you know why I brought you to the hardware store with me?"

Sippy Cup: "Not really."

Me: "Well, I think you're old enough to start helping me with projects around the house."

Sippy Cup (enthralled by the power tools all around him): "Cooooool."

Me (smiling): "Yeah, it is cool."

Sippy Cup: "Wow Dad, look at all this stuff!"

Me (walking proudly, nodding to the burly contractors in the aisle): "I'm glad you like it."

Sippy Cup (whispering): "Awesome..."
 
Me (squatting down so that we are at eye level): "Look.  You're not a baby anymore.  You're a big kid.  And it's important that you start learning some basic skills about how to fix things around the house.  See, these are all the different kinds of wrenches and pliers and hammers and drill bits..."

Sippy Cup (screaming in joy): "FISH! THEY HAVE A FISH TANK! OH MY GOD! THEY HAVE A FISH TANK! FIIIIIISSSSSHHHH!!!"

Me (sighing): "Yes.  For some reason, they have an aquarium. In a hardware store."

Sippy Cup (making fish faces): "FISHY! FISHY! FISHY! BLOOP BLOOP! BLOOP BLOOP!"