November 29, 2011

Parent Teacher Conference

Lessons learned at my first Parent Teacher Conference:
  1. Sippy Cup helps the teacher by telling his friends when their behavior is "unacceptable".
  2. Sippy Cup spends his day playing, painting, reading stories and singing songs.
  3. Sippy Cup is a very well-behaved, friendly and mature little boy at school.
Lessons learned upon returning to the house after my first Parent Teacher Conference:
  1. Sippy Cup comes home and acts in unacceptable ways.
  2. Sippy Cup comes home and tells us that he did "nothing" all day long at school.
  3. Sippy Cup is a terrorist at home.

November 25, 2011

Black Friday Emergency

Sippy Cup (tearing through the house on his bike): "Dad, call the cops!"

Me (half-awake): "Yep.  Good morning to you too."

Sippy Cup (on his return flight): "Call the cops!"

Me (rubbing my eyes): "Wait.  What's going on?"

Sippy Cup (flying past me in the hall): "Dad!  Call the cops!"

Me: "Ok.  You win.  I'm scared."

** Editor's Note - For the record, he has since stopped asking me to call the cops. 
But I never found out what prompted his urgent request.  And I'm still scared. **

November 19, 2011

November 16, 2011



Me: “Hey, do me a favor, and start cleaning up this ridiculous mess you have in the living room.”

Sippy Cup (under his breath): “Bowleesto.”



Me: “The way I see it, you have two choices: you can either listen to me or you can sit on time-out until you’re ready to listen to me.”

Sippy Cup (sighing): “Fine! Bowleesto.”



Me: “Hey buddy! It’s time for your bath!"

Sippy Cup (screaming from the room): “BOWLEESTO!”

Me: “Bowleesto to you!”

Sippy Cup (coming out of the room with a shocked expression):
“Dad! You can’t say that! That’s a bad word!”

Me: “So, wait a second, all of this time that you’ve been saying it…”

M.O.M. (nodding): “He’s been cursing you out. That’s right.”

Me (sighing while looking at him): “How do I discipline an imaginary curse word?”

Sippy Cup (sighing while shrugging his shoulders): “Bowleesto?”

November 9, 2011

Code of Conduct

Me: “Listen, I don’t think you should be ‘wrestling’ in school.”

Sippy Cup: “Well, he pushed me first.”

Me: “It doesn’t matter. If somebody pushes you or hits you, you have to tell the teacher first.”

Sippy Cup: “What if I tell the teacher and they don’t stop?”

Me: “Well, then, I guess it's up to you to tell them to stop.”

Sippy Cup: “And what if they still don’t stop?”

Me: “Then, fine, at that point I guess you can defend yourself.”

Sippy Cup: “Ok. Got it. I tell the teacher..."

Me: "Excellen-"

Sippy Cup: "And then I hit them."

Me (sighing): “I’m going to get so many phone calls from your school…”

Sippy Cup (in an impressive crane kick position): "HIII-YAAA!"