October 30, 2010

Career Day

Lil Sippy Cup: "Dad, I want a job."

Me: "Nice! I think I like where this is going."

Lil Sippy Cup: "I want to work at the bank."

Me: "Oh, wow, awesome.  What are you going to do at the bank?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Take the money."

Me: "Wait a second...."

Lil Sippy Cup: "And then I can buy toys!"

Me: "Let's slow it down for a second.  What are you going to do to earn the money?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Work at the bank."

Me: "Right.  But what are you going to do at the bank?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Take the money.  The cash.  The coinees.  The cash money!"

Me: "I really hope you mean you want to be a teller."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Caaaaash moneeeey!"

October 29, 2010

Antonee Estark

On days when I have errands to run, errands which would be impossible with Lil Sippy Cup in tow (i.e. getting a hair cut), my mother (a.k.a. "Nina") gladly babysits the little dude.

Every single time she watches him, without fail, I get a phone call.

* Editor's Note - my parents are from the Caribbean.  I have done my best to re-create the conversation as phonetically accurate as possible. *

Me: "Yes, mother?"

Nina: "Oye, who is Antonee Estark?"

Me: "Antonee Estark?  I have no idea."

Lil Sippy Cup shouts something unintelligible in the background.

Nina: "Oh, oh, wait...TONEE Estark!"

Me: "Still no clue.  Sorry."

Nina: "Are ju sure?  Tonee Estark?  Nada?"

Me: "Positive.  I have no idea who you are talking about.  Why?"

Nina: "Your son has been telling me all day that his name is TONEE ESTARK."

Sippy Cup (in the background): "Pew! Pew! Pew!"

Me: "Ohhh...wait....Mom, is he saying that he is 'Tony Stark'?"

Nina: "There you go!"

Me: "He's a superhero Mom.  He's Iron Man.  He's telling you he's Iron Man."

Lil Sippy Cup (shouting in the background): "I'M TONY STARK! I CAN FLY!"

Me: "Mom, please keep him away from the windows.  Thanks."

Nina (as she hangs up): "Hey! Get down from there!"

October 28, 2010

Stranger Danger

I am not ashamed to admit that I hide whenever the doorbell rings unexpectedly.

It's not so much that I am not a friendly neighbor; it's much more that I don't want to have a conversation with the local Jehovah's Witnesses at 9:30 in the morning.

However, hiding takes on a new degree of difficulty when your accomplice is a 3 year-old.

Door bell rings.

Lil Sippy Cup (yelling): "Oooh!  Oooh!  Daddy, who is it?"

Me (whispering): "Lil dude, come over here."

Lil Sippy Cup (smiling): "Why?"

Me: "Ssshhh! Just come over here!"

Lil Sippy Cup: "But someone's at the door Dad!"

Me: "Sweet Lord, just come over here!  Please!"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Is it Grandma?  She's buying me presents!"

Me: "It's not Grandma!"

Lil Sippy Cup (pressing his ear to the door): "How do you know?"

Me: "I just do."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Why are you hiding Daddy?  Are we playing a game?  I want to play!"

Me: "No, we aren't playing a gam...yes!  We're playing a game!  We're playing the quiet game!"

Lil Sippy Cup (whispering at the door): "Grandma?  Is that you?  I'm playing the quiet game!"

October 27, 2010

Fashion Statements

As is our custom, Lil Sippy Cup and I got into a small argument this morning as I was trying to help him get dressed.

Me: "Ok, pick out a tee shirt."

Lil Sippy Cup (grabs a tee shirt): "Got it."

Me: "Ok, pick out some boxers."

Lil Sippy Cup (grabs a pair of basketball shorts): "Got it."

Me: "Close.  I said boxers."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Nah, these are fine."

Me: "Lil dude, I don't want to fight.  You can put those on as well.  Just make sure you put on a pair of underwear please."

Lil Sippy Cup (sighing): "Fine."

I walked away feeling very proud of myself for having handled the situation so quickly and with minimal protest.

A few minutes later, Lil Sippy Cup walked out of the room, smiling broadly and wearing his boxer shorts on top of his basketball shorts.

Even when I think I've won, I still lose.

October 26, 2010

Friendly Neighborhood Sippy Cup

Lil Sippy Cup woke up this morning and decided he was Spider-Man.

There was no magical transformation (I asked), no bite from a radioactive spider (I checked), and no super-human powers (I tested).

He just woke up and decided that he was Spider-Man and that he would only respond to being called "Spider-Man" for the entire day.

Me: "Hey, little buddy."

Lil Sippy Cup: "I'm Spider-Man!"

Me: "Oh, that's odd.  I thought you were my little dude."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Nope.  Call me Spider-Man."

Me: "Sure, whatever you say.  So what do you want for breakfast?"

Lil Sippy Cup (blank stare)

Me: "Pancakes?  Eggs?"

Lil Sippy Cup (blank stare)

Me: "Seriously?"

Lil Sippy Cup (blank stare)

Me (sighing): "What would you like for breakfast, Spider-Man?"

Spider-Man: "Oh, daddy, I didn't hear you.  I would like cereal.  Thank you."

October 25, 2010

Patiently Waiting

Patiently waiting for anything is an incredibly difficult thing for a 3 year-old to do.

The concept of delayed gratification (as we explored here) is foreign and incomprehensible to them.

Nevertheless, they are capable of it on rare occasions.

Like, for example, this morning, when Lil Sippy Cup, inspired by the Halloween episode of "Max and Ruby", patiently hid in the kitchen for 10 minutes with the lights off so that he could jump out and yell "BOO!" at his father at the precise moment said father was walking in front of the kitchen door.

My heart and my head still hurt.

Lil Sippy Cup, on the other hand, still thinks it is the funniest thing he has ever done.

October 21, 2010

Deft Deafness

Me: "Lil dude, do you want a slice of bread?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "No, I didn't pee on my bed!"

Me: "What? I asked if you wanted a slice of bread?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "You hit your head?! Are you ok?"

Me: "I'm fine! I wanted to know if you wanted a slice of bread?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Ha ha! I do like the color red!"

Me: "I give up."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Yes."

Me: "Yes what?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Bread. I want a slice of bread."

October 20, 2010

A Letter to Future Sippy Cup (8)

Hey kid,

Right now, it's 11:45pm and I just checked in on you sleeping.

The room felt cold and you were huddled in a fetal position so I went into the linen closet and got you a warmer comforter.

You are 3 and a half years old which means I have been your father for 3 and a half years.

I have never felt more like a daddy than I do right now.

I love you more than you will ever know or understand.


October 19, 2010

A Nutritious Breakfast?

Me: "How many brownies have you eaten?"

Lil Sippy Cup (mouth full, smiling, and holding up 1 finger)

Me: "How many brown-"

Lil Sippy Cup (mouth full, smiling and holding up 2 fingers)

Me: "2!?  You just woke up! How di-"

Lil Sippy Cup (mouth full, smiling and holding up 3 fingers)

Me: "3? Really? How did you eat 3 brownies already?"

Lil Sippy Cup (swallows, smiles with a mouth full of chocolatey teeth) : "Yum."

October 18, 2010

It Finally Happened

My son tried to kill me today.

I'm not sure if he was intentionally trying to ninja leg sweep me as I stepped over him in the hallway this morning or if he had a moment of artistic inspiration and decided to bust out in an amazing impromptu break dance but, regardless, the end result was the same: our feet got tangled together and I went stumbling into a wall.

The fact that he's still laughing about it makes me think it was the former as opposed to the latter.

October 16, 2010

Accessory After the Fact

Lil Sippy Cup and the M.O.M. got into a little disagreement this morning.  I forget the specifics but suffice it to say that Lil Sippy Cup was being way too loud.

M.O.M.: "You'd better stop it."

Lil Sippy Cup: "No!"

M.O.M.: "I'm serious.  Now hush!"

Lil Sippy Cup: "No!  I'm the man!"

While I believe his proclamation was more a statement of power and achievement (i.e. "I just beat you in this verbal game! I'm the man!") as opposed to any declaration of chauvinist opinion (i.e. "I don't need to listen to you because I'm the man!"), Lil Sippy Cup is currently serving time in the Quiet Corner.

And so am I.

October 14, 2010

Destination Truth

As a parent, you sometimes resort to somewhat underhanded tactics to ensure that the rule of law and order is maintained in your household.

Unfortunately, these tactics don't always work.

Me: “Seriously, stop jumping on the bed."

Lil Sippy Cup (jumping enthusiastically): “Nope!  This is fun!”

Me: “If you don’t stop, you are going to fall and bump your head.”

Lil Sippy Cup (still jumping): “No I won’t!  I’m good at jumping!”

Me: “Ok, fine.  If you don’t stop, the monster is going to come out and bite you.”

Lil Sippy Cup (no longer jumping): “What monster?”

Me: “The monster that lives under the bed.”

Lil Sippy Cup (jumping again): “Ha ha! No he won’t.  I’ll be friends with him and tell him to jump on the bed with me!"

Me: “What if he doesn’t want to be your friend?  What if he’s mean and scary?”

Lil Sippy Cup: “Then I’ll punch him in the face!”

Me: “Fantastic. You really shouldn’t punch people in the face.”

Lil Sippy Cup: “He’s not a people.  He’s a monster.”

October 11, 2010

Pediatric Podiatry

Lil Sippy Cup: "Owwww!"

Me: "Ok, what happened now?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "My foot!  Ow!  My foot!"

Me: "That doesn't really clarify things."

Lil Sippy Cup: "I have foot-itis!"

Me: "One more time?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "My foot! It has itis!  I have foot-itis!"

Me: "That's not even real!"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Yes it is!  It is real!"

October 8, 2010

The Carving Board

So what do you do when you go pumpkin picking and bring home a 16 pound pumpkin?

You carve it of course.

Step 1. Scrape out the pumpkin guts.


Step 2. Tell ghost stories.

Step 3. Transfer the stencil onto the pumpkin by punching tiny holes through the lines of the stencil paper. 
Spread flour onto the holes to make the pattern easier to see.

Step 4. Carefully carve the pumpkin and then step back and ponder your own awesomeness.

October 6, 2010

The 7th Food Group

The M.O.M. and Lil Sippy Cup were making brownies earlier this evening.

As expected, Lil Sippy Cup had some thoughts to share.

Lil Sippy Cup: "Yummy!"

M.O.M.: "Why are you eating the brownie mix?!"

Lil Sippy Cup: "I love brownies!"

M.O.M.: "But we have to bake them first."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Brownies are my favorite fruit!"

M.O.M.: "Brownies aren't fruit sweetie."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Ok.  Brownies are my favorite dinner!" 

October 5, 2010

B.A. Baracups

Last night, right before his bedtime, Lil Sippy Cup taught me that it is virtually impossible to properly discipline a child when he can literally make you laugh out loud.

Me: "Ok lil dude, time for bed."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Nah, I'm okay."

Me: "I'm going to turn off the television."

Lil Sippy Cup: "I'm going to turn you off, sucka!"

I'm still not quite sure where a 3 year-old boy learns the word "sucka".  But I'm not complaining. 

Well, at least not until he starts using it in school.

October 4, 2010


As if his request for ice cream pizza wasn't amazing enough, Lil Sippy Cup just asked for a Marshmallow Taco as an afternoon snack.

At this moment, the word "proud" fails to properly express how I am feeling.

Regardless, Taco Bell fairy, if you're reading this, please make our dream come true.  Thank you.

October 3, 2010

Fall Fair

On Saturday, Roosevelt Island hosted its 5th Annual Fall for Arts festival.  Roosevelt Island is located between Manhattan and Queens and, more importantly, its just 10 minutes from the house.

There were a ton of activities set-up for the kids, ranging from face painting, mask making, tye-dying and puppet shows.  Lil Sippy Cup loved it.

The best part though?  It was all free.  So I loved it as well.

As always, more pictures after the jump.  Enjoy.

October 2, 2010

The Marshmallow Test

I recently came across the following article by Jonah Lehrer entitled "Don't!: The Secret of Self-Control" (the link takes you directly to the New Yorker's Science section where you will be able to read it in its entirety).

The article discusses the concept of delayed gratification and the mental processes that occur which will either allow someone to delay their gratification for a few minutes or impulsively react to their desires immediately.

The reason I found the article particularly interesting was because of the psychological experiment that was crafted to observe the theories.

The experiment was this: a child (roughly 4-6 years of age) was brought into a small room which had a simple table and a chair.  The child was asked to sit on the chair and then offered a marshmallow.  They were told that they were free to eat the marshmallow whenever they wanted to but, if they were able to wait a few minutes, they would be given a second marshmallow to eat. All they would need to do was simply wait to eat the treat when the researcher returned to the room and then they would be given a second marshmallow.  Sounds simple enough, right?

Apparently, waiting to eat a marshmallow (a.k.a. delaying their gratification) is equivalent to torture for most children.  Don't believe me?  Here is a video documenting the experiment. 

As it turns out, I happened to have marshmallows in the house when I read the article.  I was curious to see how Lil Sippy Cup would do with the test.  I explained the rules to him, offered him a marshmallow, and turned my back to walk away.  Before I took a step, I realized that I should probably re-iterate the rules, just to be sure that he understood them.  So I turned back around.

In the two seconds that it took me to turn around and then change my mind about walking away, Lil Sippy Cup placed the entire jumbo-sized marshmallow in his mouth and happily ate it.

Me: "Dude! Did you understand the rules?"

Lil Sippy Cup (smiling widely and nodding)

Me: "So why didn't you wait?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Uh difnt wont toos"

Me: "Your mouth is full.  Wait until you finish eating the marshmallow to answer."

Lil Sippy Cup (swallows): "I said I didn't want to."

Me: "You didn't want two marshmallows?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Yes I wanted two.  But I didn't want to wait.  So I put it in my face and ate it."

Me: "Fantastic."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Can we do it again?"

I am sure there is a lesson to be learned in all of this. 

But I still don't know what it is.