Me (inspecting the outside of his lunch bag): "Dude, what did you do to your lunch bag?"
Sippy Cup: "That wasn't me! Two of my friends in school smashed it over a banana during lunch!"
Me: "What? Why?"
Sippy Cup: "It's ok. We were just fooling around."
Me: "Actually that isn't ok at all. Your so-called 'friends' should learn to respect other people's property."
Sippy Cup (ignoring me and packing his book bag): "I'm excited about handing out my Valentine's Day cards in class tomorrow."
Me: "Well maybe these two 'friends' of yours shouldn't get a Valentine from you."
Sippy Cup: "Why not? That's not nice!"
Me: "They smashed your lunch bag over a banana!"
Sippy Cup: "So what? They're my friends. And it's just a lunch bag. If they don't get a Valentine from me? But everyone else does? That's just mean. Then they'll be sad. They might cry."
Me (taking a deep breath and reminding myself that I'm an adult): "You, sir, are a better man than I am. And that's a good thing."
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