February 12, 2013

Suits and Ties

Me (watching an online video of Justin Timberlake's 2013 Grammy performance):
"Wow.  He's actually singing live and the dancing is amazing. From now on, I'm wearing a tuxedo all of the time. To the playground.  To the supermarket.  To the hardware store.  Everywhere."

M.O.M. (prepping dinner in the kitchen): "He's amazing.  I love him.  I don't understand how he's with Jessica Biel.  She is the living embodiment of 'Blah'."

Me (treading carefully): "Uhm, that's extreme.  She's pretty."

M.O.M. (walking out of the kitchen): "She isn't on his level.  He needed to marry someone to complement him.  Look at
Jay-Z and Beyonce.  They complement one another."

Me (thinking before I speak): "So, then, who is on his level?"

M.O.M.: "My coworkers and I had this discussion today.  And we haven't really figured it out yet.  Obviously, the most immediate answer is me."

Me (not thinking before I speak):
"Lovely.  So if this conversation were to be reversed and I were to say that Jessica Biel and I-"

M.O.M.: "I would punch you. In the throat."

Me (feeling brave [read: stupid]): "Do you understand what double-standards are?"

M.O.M. (pointing to my throat): "In. The. Throat."

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