January 2, 2013

Holiday Smörgåsbords

M.O.M.: “How was your holiday party at school?”

Sippy Cup: “It was awesome!  We had popcorn and chips and cookies and candy!”

M.O.M.: “Whoa!  You had a whole shmortgageboard!”

Me: “That’s definitely not how you say that.”

M.O.M.: “Shutup.  How do you say it then?”

Me: “Uhm, Smörgåsbord.

M.O.M.: “Definitely not.  I don’t believe you.  Look it up.  Let me hear the Internet pronounce it.”

Mr. Cufflinks dutifully looks up the proper pronunciation.

Me: “Told you so.”

M.O.M.: “Whatever.  That’s not how you say it in Jewish.”

Me: “Strike two and three.  Jewish isn’t a language.  And, since you’re half-Jewish, 
the fact that you don’t know this is something we should probably discuss.

M.O.M.: “Fine. Yiddish. Or Hebrew.  Jerk.”

Me: “Also, the word is Swedish.”

Sippy Cup: “It doesn’t matter anyway.  Jewish is an island.”

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