March 28, 2011

Bathroom Routine

Sippy Cup (banging at the bathroom door): "Dad!  Open up!  I've got to pee!"

Me (brushing my teeth): "Hgo hahead.  Hit's not slocked."

Sippy Cup (rushing in and dropping his shorts immediately): "Thanks Dad!"

Me (rinsing out my mouth and washing my face):
"No problem.  And a very good morning to you as well."

Sippy Cup (preparing to sit on the toilet seat): "That was a close one!"

Me (drying my face with the towel): "Uhm...what are you doing?"

Sippy Cup: "Peeing!"

Me: "Right.  But why are you sitting down?  Little boys don't sit down to pee."

Sippy Cup: "What?!  Why not?!"

Me: "I don't know why not.  You just don't."

Sippy Cup: "You're crazy.  Why would I stand up when I can sit down instead?"

Me: "Well...because...uhm..."

Sippy Cup: "When I sit down, I don't get tired.  And I don't make a mess!"

Me (sighing): "I really have no response for you."

Sippy Cup: "All finished!  Yay!  High-five! What's for breakfast?  I want chips!"


Anonymous said...

ha ha he's right tho. it does make less mess. although high fiving without washing hands is a no-no.

Anonymous said...

Tell him you can't write your name in snow with pee if you sit down.

Black6x said...

I remember a while back, someone pointing out to me that for men, because of the urethra's length and position, sitting down doesn't allow it to empty.

Found one of them:

The first fact to be faced: most of the stray “sprinkles” that so enrage European women occur not during the act of urination itself, but immediately afterward, during a ritual men learn as part of their potty training. By “ritual” I refer to the various manoeuvers required to discharge the urine remaining in the urethra (the muscular tube that delivers urine to the tip of the penis) once the bladder is empty. Nor is the act merely symbolic or recreational. A man who tucks away his penis without performing these manoeuvers will dribble half an ounce of urine into his underwear, causing an embarrassing stain in the crotch of his trousers, or an even more embarrassing streak down his trouser leg. To avoid this debacle, every sentient male, after every urination, carefully squeezes or “milks” his member to assure that no stray drops remain within the urethra.
Unfortunately, some men pursue this goal with excessive vigour, indulging in what can only be described as “shaking off the last drop.” It is precisely these movements – and not the free-falling stream itself – that deposit most of the unwanted urine on lavatory floors throughout the world. And sometimes, given a sufficiently vigorous shake, on the walls, or even on the ceiling.