From: Mr. Cufflinks
Date: March 5, 2013
Re: Sick Days
When you have children of your own, please know that your "sick days", "vacation days" and/or "personal days" no longer belong to you.
They belong to your children and will be used for "tummy aches", "teething pains" and/or "flu symptoms".
"Mental Health Days" spent watching Netflix and making terrible dietary decisions are a thing of the past.
Please note: this also applies to any "Holidays" that coincide with "School Holidays"; in other words, all holidays.
If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to leave a comment below or email your regional manager at firstname.lastname@example.org.