May 26, 2010

Mind Tricks

If you have read any of my previous posts, you should know by now that I regularly lose mental tests of wit with my son.

If you are new to the site, then I should let you know that I am 29 years-old with over 16 years of a great education in my back pocket; my son, on the other hand, is 3 years-old and has not spent more than 35 minutes inside of a school (he went to visit his Mommy, who is a teacher, at work one day).

Needless to say, statistically speaking, I should win every single debate. 

Realistically speaking, I do not.

I was starting to feel pretty bad about myself until I stumbled upon a substantial realization last night: my son is a Jedi.

You see, anyone who has had a conversation with a toddler, can attest to the fact that they will, quite literally, talk about whatever they are thinking about.  Whether their topic of choice follows your original conversation stream does not matter.  Toddlers do not conform to any societal rules or social customs.  You can ask them their age and they will tell you their favorite color instead.

I used to think this was a direct result of their young age and limited educational experience.  In the case of Lil Sippy Cup, who has proven himself more than capable of charmingly socializing with adults on several occasions, I have realized that his sudden changes in conversational topics are a way to momentarily stun-gun my brain.  Rather than being a handicap caused by toddlerhood, it is actually a skill effectively mastered by a Jedi.

For example, here is a recent exchange we had, when I found him sticking bits of blue painters tape in a decorative pattern on the living room floor.

Me: "I'm pretty sure Mommy would not approve of what you are doing.  For the record, neither do I."

Sippy Cup (without looking up or stopping): "Dad, do you like apple juice?"

Me: "Wait...yes, I do like apple juice."

Sippy Cup (still looking down): "Me too."

Or the other night, when I stumbled upon him in the bathroom, casually tearing up bits of toilet paper to create confetti to celebrate a spontaneous potty parade.

Me: "Yep.  Here's something else you should not be doing."

Sippy Cup: "Huh?  Who?  What?!"

Me: "You can't tear up the toilet paper and throw it up in the air.  You're making a huge mess."

Sippy Cup: "A huge mess?"

Me: "Precisely."

Sippy Cup: "Haha! Daddy, you're funny!"

Me: "You know what? I am funny!"

As a result, I have created a protective helmet fashioned out of an old camouflage messenger bag and wax paper.  My hope is that the wax paper will reflect his Jedi powers.  And that the camouflage will help hide my brain.

Now please excuse me, I suddenly want to watch Thomas and Friends: Hero of the Rails.

1 comment:

Griz said...

personally, i think sippy cup is the funny one.... hilarious :) :)