Things I Never Thought I'd Have To Say (10)

"You're not even two years-old!  Why are you stronger than me?!"

Demolition Derby

M.O.M. (on the couch, reading)

Sippy Cup (playing with his sister's Lego Duplo blocks while sitting in front of the couch): "This tower is going to be awesome! It's going to be huge!"

Me (sitting at the dining room table, working on the computer): "That's awesome buddy."

Princess Teacup (quietly playing with her own pile of blocks)

Sippy Cup (finished with his massive construction): "Look Mom!  Look at the tower!  It's huge!"

Princess Teacup (stands up and, with several quick kicks, promptly demolishes the tower before the M.O.M. has a chance to view its architectural glory)

Sippy Cup (dismayed): "Hey! Aw man! Mom! Look at what she did!"

M.O.M. (putting her book down): "Hey!  That's not nice!  You don't do that!  You have to play nice with your brother!"

Princess Teacup (looking at the M.O.M. and tap dancing on the Duplo demolition site)

M.O.M.: "Do you want to go and sit on timeout?"

Princess Teacup (nodding): "Yesh."

M.O.M. (turning to me in awe): "What are we going to do with this one?  She took the power away from the timeout threat!"

Me (without looking up): "Two words: Cesar. Millan."

Peeckles

Me (in the kitchen, putting away the groceries)

Princess Teacup (walks in, smiling): "Daaee!"

Me: "Uh-oh.  What do you want baby?"

Princess Teacup (points to refrigerator): "I want."

Me (hesitant): "These kitchen encounters of ours never end well."

Princess Teacup (tugging on the refrigerator door with all of her might): "Daaeee! Please! I want!"

Me (caving and opening the door): "Ok.  But please be specific."

Princess Teacup (grabs the jar of gherkins): "Peeckle!"

Me (dubious): "Seriously?  You want pickles?"

Princess Teacup (handing me the jar): "Please Daaeee!  I want!  I want peeckle!"

Me (opening the jar and taking out one small gherkin): "Ok.  But I don't know your specific preparation instructions for pickles so I'm scared."

Princess Teacup (holding out both of her hands, palms up): "Pleeeease Daaeee!  Please?"

Me (handing her one): "Ok, ok!  Here you go."

Princess Teacup (grabbing the pickle and taking a massive bite): "Thank you Daaeee! Thank you much!"

Me (bracing myself): "You're welcome?"

Princess Teacup (blows me a loud kiss): "Ok. Bye Daaeee!"

Silent Posting (34)

Things I Never Thought I'd Have To Say (9)

"Do you think Cesar Millan works with toddlers?"