Silent Posting (27)

Growing Up Means (2)

Hey little dude,

Growing up means you can have whatever you want for breakfast.  

Whether that means a whole wheat bagel with peanut butter or a bag of Haribo Gold-Bears, your breakfast choices are entirely up to you.

However, please note that growing up also means you will have to rub your own belly whenever it hurts because you decided to eat candy for breakfast.

Love,

Dad

Water

Princess Teacup (from the kitchen): "Daadee!"

Me (walking into the kitchen): "Yes baby?"

Princess Teacup (pointing to the refrigerator door): "I want water."

Me: "Of course baby.  Thank you for asking so nicely.  I actually understood you this time."

Princess Teacup: "Water."

Me (taking out a small bottle of water): "Here you go baby."

Princess Teacup (shaking her head): "No.  Water."

Me (confused): "But, my love, this is water."

Princess Teacup: "No!"

Me (apprehensive): "Ok.  Do you want some juice?"

Princess Teacup: "No!"

Me (holding out both a small bottle of water and a juice box): "Which one do you want love?"

Princess Teacup (points to the juice box): "Water."

Me (taking out the juice box and closing the fridge): "No problem baby girl.  I got you."

Princess Teacup (sees the juice box and starts to cry): "Maaaamaaa!"

M.O.M. (turns from the stove): "What is it baby?"

Princess Teacup (sniffling and whispering quietly): "I want water."

M.O.M. (goes into the fridge and takes out the same small bottle of water previously offered): 

"Here you go my love."

Princess Teacup (dancing in place): "Mama!  Thank!"

Me: "This isn't even fair.  First the bananas and now this?"

M.O.M. (kneeling down and kissing her on the cheek): 

"It's ok baby.  I already told you.  Daddy doesn't understand anything."

Princess Teacup (sticks her tongue out at me and then laughs)

M.O.M. (turning to me and smiling): "Isn't she adorable?"

Holiday Smörgåsbords

M.O.M.: “How was your holiday party at school?”

Sippy Cup: “It was awesome!  We had popcorn and chips and cookies and candy!”

M.O.M.: “Whoa!  You had a whole shmortgageboard!”

Me: “That’s definitely not how you say that.”

M.O.M.: “Shutup.  How do you say it then?”

Me: “Uhm, Smörgåsbord.”

M.O.M.: “Definitely not.  I don’t believe you.  Look it up.  Let me hear the Internet pronounce it.”

Mr. Cufflinks dutifully looks up the proper pronunciation.

Me: “Told you so.”

M.O.M.: “Whatever.  That’s not how you say it in Jewish.”

Me: “Strike two and three.  Jewish isn’t a language.  And, since you’re half-Jewish, 

the fact that you don’t know this is something we should probably discuss.”

M.O.M.: “Fine. Yiddish. Or Hebrew.  Jerk.”

Me: “Also, the word is Swedish.”

Sippy Cup: “It doesn’t matter anyway.  Jewish is an island.”

Silent Posting (26)