Imaginary Safety

Me (strapping him into his car seat): "Alright buddy, are you comfy?"

Sippy Cup: "Yep.  Thanks Dad."

Me: "Alright, cool, we're ready to go."

Sippy Cup (putting his hand up): "Wait Dad!"

Me: "What is it?"

Sippy Cup: "What about James?  He needs to be safe too!"

Me: "Are you serious?"

Sippy Cup: "Yes!  He needs to be safe!"

Me (reaching in and buckling an imaginary seatbelt): "Ok James, you're good to go."

Sippy Cup (shaking his head and sighing): "Daaaad, don't be silly.  Do it for real!"

Me: "You want me to really buckle a seat belt back here for your invisible friend?"

Sippy Cup (reaching over and buckling the middle seat belt):

"Forget it!  I'll do it myself! There you go James.  I'm sorry.  My Dad is so crazy."

A Letter to Future Sippy Cup (10)

Hey kid,

Today, you accidentally slipped off of a dining room chair and hit your groin for the first time ever.

This is a painful but necessary rite of passage.

Even though you are barely 4 years-old, you took it like a man.

I am so proud of you.

Love,
Dad

(P.S. - even though you took it like a man, I still covered your face with kisses just because I felt like it.)

Lady Bug Pops

Me (rubbing his hair): "Nice nap little dude.  What do you want as a snack?"

Sippy Cup: "Uhm, a Lady Bug pop!"

Me: "I'm afraid to ask.  What's a 'lady bug pop'?"

Sippy Cup: "They're in the freezer!"

Me (talking to myself): "Please, please, please don't let there be any frozen bugs in the fridge."

Sippy Cup: "Come on!  We can share it!"

Me (opening the freezer carefully): "Oh thank God.  There are no 'lady bug pops' in here my friend. 

Just the fruit pops."

Sippy Cup (pointing): "No, look, there it is!"

Me (grabbing a fruit pop): "This?  This is a strawberry pop."

Sippy Cup: "A Lady Bug Pop!  Yay!"

Me (opening the fruit pop): "Clearly this is a strawberry pop."

Sippy Cup: "It's a Lady Bug Pop!"

Me (handing him the pop): "I'm pretty sure it's a strawberry pop."

Sippy Cup (pointing to the little pieces of strawberry in the ice pop):

"No it isn't!  Look!  Look at all the lady bugs in here!  It's a Lady Bug Pop!"

Me (smiling): "I guess you're right."

Sippy Cupstantine

As is our custom, Lil Sippy Cup and I were watching cartoons together earlier this afternoon.

We're both big fans of Tom and Jerry and were watching the classic episode "Heavenly Puss".

In the episode, Tom (after spending his life chasing Jerry) is denied a ticket on the "Heavenly Express" train.  If he isn't able to get Jerry to sign a certificate absolving him of his sins, Tom will be banished to hell where Spike the Bull Dog (a.k.a the Devil) awaits.

I thought this was a perfect opportunity to teach Lil Sippy Cup some lessons about morality and the importance of being a good little boy who listens to his Daddy and doesn't run around the house breaking fine china and throwing old batteries at the couch.

Of course, as you all should know by now, things didn't exactly turn out as I had planned...

Sippy Cup: "Why is the dog all red and mean and scary?"

Me: "Because he's the king of the red and mean and scary place."

Sippy Cup: "Oh."

Me: "That's the place where all bad people go.  Especially the ones who don't listen

to their mommies or daddies."

Sippy Cup: "I thought that was a jail?"

Me: "Uhm, well, this place is for the people who go to jail and still don't listen to

their mommies or daddies when they get out."

Sippy Cup: "Oh.  That place is kind of scary."

Me (nodding in agreement): "Yeah it is."

Sippy Cup: "That's ok though.  I'm not afraid."

Me: "What?  You should be!"

Sippy Cup: "But you said I shouldn't be afraid of anything.  Not of monsters.  Not of spiders.  Nothing!"

Me: "Well that's true but I al-"

Sippy Cup (interrupting and shaking his fists): "Plus I have these two weapons!"

Me: "Leave it to you to be unafraid of the ultimate prince of darkness."

Sippy Cup (chopping the air): "HIIIEEE-YAAAH!!!"

Brother James

Sippy Cup (from the bedroom): "Haha!  You're so funny!  I didn't know we could do that!"

Me (walking from the living room): "Hey little man, who are you talking to?"

Sippy Cup (opening the door to the room): "No, that's just my Dad.  You know who that is."

Me (standing at the bedroom doorway): "Seriously.  You're kind of scaring me."

Sippy Cup: "Oh, hi Dad.  I was just talking to James."

Me (looking around the room): "Fantastic.  You do know you're in here by yourself, right?"

Sippy Cup: "No I'm not.  I'm in here with my brother James."

Me (looking over my shoulder cautiously): "Oh, so he's your brother.  And where is James right now?"

Sippy Cup (pointing): "Right in front of you."

Me (backing out of the room slowly): "Ok.  I'm going to go call your mother now."

Sippy Cup (waving): "Ok, that's fine.  Bye Daddy.  James says 'bye' too!"