The King and I

Me: "Ok little dude, so you know Mommy has a new baby in her belly, right?"

Sippy Cup: "Yep.  My little sister."

Me: "Right! Right! That's right."

Sippy Cup: "She's going to be so cute."

Me: "I think so too.  So, you know you have some new jobs now, right?"

Sippy Cup: "Yep.  I protect Mommy.  I love Mommy.  I protect the baby.  I love the baby."

Me: "Awesome.  You're so smart."

Sippy Cup: "Thanks Dad."

Me: "I want you to know something really important though:

even though she's going to be our little princess you'll always be..."

Sippy Cup (interrupting): "I know Dad, I know."

Me: "Oh really?"

Sippy Cup: "Yep.  I'll always be the king!"

Me (sighing): "I'm glad you're taking this in stride."

Sippy Cup (playing an imaginary trumpet): "HERE COMES THE KING!"

Introducing...

Princess Teacup - 20 Weeks

And just when I thought I was going to run out of stories, life gives us a co-star...this ought to be interesting...

The Rules

Me: "Ok, so what are the rules for 'Daddy School'"

Sippy Cup: "First, I have to sit down like a big boy."

Me: "Good.  Next?"

Sippy Cup: "Number 2: I have to listen to Mr. Daddy."

Me: "Excellent."

Sippy Cup: "Next, no screaming."

Me: "Good."

Sippy Cup: "Singing is only ok if I sing quiet."

Me: "Ok, good, so we're ready to start."

Sippy Cup: "And no burping and farting."

Me: "Fantastic. Wait...what? 

Sippy Cup: "No burping or farting."

Me: "I never said that."

Sippy Cup: "I know Mr. Daddy but it's a good rule. Unless my belly hurts. Nino told me that!"

Me: "Of course he did."

1 Little Monkey

Me (shouting from the living room): "Stop jumping on the bed!"

Sippy Cup (jumping on the bed): "What?!  I can't hear you?!  I'm singing!"

Me (in a louder voice): "I said to stop jumping on the bed!"

Sippy Cup (still jumping on the bed): " 'What you don't understand is I'll catch a grenade for yaaaa!!!' "

Me (standing up): "You better stop jumping before I get to the room!"

Loud, ominous bang and crash

Sippy Cup (slightly concerned voice): "I'm okay!"

Me: "What did you do?!"

Sippy Cup (very concerned voice): "I didn't break the bed!"

** Editor's Note: For the record, he didn't break the bed **

What I Don't Understand

Me: "Good morning buddy."

Sippy Cup (singing): " 'Easy come, easy go' "

Me: "Uh-huh.  That's great."

Sippy Cup (still singing): " 'That's just how you live oooohhh' "

Me: "Really?  This is how we're going to start the day?"

Sippy Cup (singing with more emotion): " 'Take, take, take it all but you never give' "

Me (sighing): "I'm not even going to try and stop you."

Sippy Cup (closing his eyes for emphasis): " 'Shoulda known you was trouble hum hum kiss' "

Me: "What would you like for breakfast?"

Sippy Cup (clutching at his heart): " 'You tossed it in the trash, you tossed it in the trash!' "

Me: "Cereal perhaps?"

Sippy Cup (singing/yelling): " 'What you don't understand is I'll catch a grenade for yaahh!' "

Me: "Waffles?  Excellent.  We'll have waffles."