Things I Never Thought I'd Have To Say (11)

"Uh-oh.  You made her angry.  She's not even 2 but you won't like her when she's angry."

Moderation

Princess Teacup: "Daee! I want cracker!"

Me (grabbing the box of crackers): "Ok love."

Princess Teacup: "Yay!"

Me (breaking the cracker in half and handing her the two pieces): "Here you go baby.  Eat them one at a time."

Princess Teacup (promptly shoving both pieces of cracker into her mouth)

Me: "I said one!"

Princess Teacup (with her mouth full and spewing small crumbs everywhere): "Two! Three! Four! Yay!"

Me (holding my face in my hands and sighing): "What am I going to do with you?"

Princess Teacup (hiding her face behind her hands): "Boo! Yay!"

Silent Posting (38)

Princess Teacup: Lost in Translation (11-15)

As most of you already know, I have provided our readers with some basic words and phrases to keep them as safe as possible just in case they should ever find themselves alone with my daughter for some ridiculous reason.

Here are 5 more words and/or phrases to help you survive your time.  God speed.

"Fry Fry" - French Fries; one of the rare moments where you can figure out what she actually means based on context.  However, she may request french fries even when there are no french fries to be seen.  Especially if it is bedtime. I.E. "I want fry fry!"

"Check-Up" - Ketchup ; although phonetically similar to the actual word she means to say, she will attempt to confuse you so that her potential tantrum becomes justified. I.E. "I want check-up for my fry fry!"

"Pity Peas?" - Pretty please? ; a rarely seen moment wherein her desire for whatever you have supersedes her normally prideful sense of entitlement. Please note: not related to vegetable sympathy. I.E. "I want check-up for my fry fry! Pity peas?"

"Tea" - TV ; a rather lazy attempt to name the television.  Although technically a noun, it is also intended as a verb, commanding you to turn on the television and (no matter what time of day it is) make Melmo perform for her. I.E. "I want tea! Tea! Melmo!"

"I Can't Do It, Do It!" - "I can't do this particular task!  Please help me!"; straight-forward command.  Please note: most often used when the task she is attempting is especially dangerous; if you hear her say "I can't do it, do it!" quickly proceed to whatever room she is in at the time. I.E. "I can't do it, do it!" (while attempting to climb onto the middle of the dining room table to grab a butter knife).

The Bottlecaps and the 3 Bears

- Sippycup and his cousins (Cassidy and Chase) are raucously playing in their grandparents' living room - 

M.O.M.: "Ok guys!  How about we play a quiet game?"

Sippcup: "Like what?"

M.O.M.: "Why don't you guys pretend that you're out camping?"

Sippycup: "Yay! This is awesome!"

Cassidy: "Let's lie down in our sleeping bags!"

M.O.M. (whispering): "But you have to be quiet!  You don't want to wake up the bears that are sleeping outside!"

- Chase runs to the window and stares out intently -

Sippycup (whispering): "I love camping!"

Cassidy (whispering): "Me too!"

Chase (turning from the window): "Ain't no bears outside!"

M.O.M. (laughing): "What?"

Chase (quickly glancing out the window before turning back to us): "Ain't no bears gonna eat us! Ain't no bears outside!"

Me (turning to the M.O.M.): "Fantastic.  You've traumatized our nephew."