Black Friday Emergency

Sippy Cup (tearing through the house on his bike): "Dad, call the cops!"

Me (half-awake): "Yep.  Good morning to you too."

Sippy Cup (on his return flight): "Call the cops!"

Me (rubbing my eyes): "Wait.  What's going on?"

Sippy Cup (flying past me in the hall): "Dad!  Call the cops!"

Me: "Ok.  You win.  I'm scared."

** Editor's Note - For the record, he has since stopped asking me to call the cops. 

But I never found out what prompted his urgent request.  And I'm still scared. **

Proud Parent Moment (1)

I guess this apple didn't fall far from the tree...

Bowleesto

Monday

Me: “Hey, do me a favor, and start cleaning up this ridiculous mess you have in the living room.”

Sippy Cup (under his breath): “Bowleesto.”

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Tuesday

Me: “The way I see it, you have two choices: you can either listen to me or you can sit on time-out until you’re ready to listen to me.”

Sippy Cup (sighing): “Fine! Bowleesto.”

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Wednesday

Me: “Hey buddy! It’s time for your bath!"

Sippy Cup (screaming from the room): “BOWLEESTO!”

Me: “Bowleesto to you!”

Sippy Cup (coming out of the room with a shocked expression):

“Dad! You can’t say that! That’s a bad word!”

Me: “So, wait a second, all of this time that you’ve been saying it…”

M.O.M. (nodding): “He’s been cursing you out. That’s right.”

Me (sighing while looking at him): “How do I discipline an imaginary curse word?”

Sippy Cup (sighing while shrugging his shoulders): “Bowleesto?”

Code of Conduct

Me: “Listen, I don’t think you should be ‘wrestling’ in school.”

Sippy Cup: “Well, he pushed me first.”

Me: “It doesn’t matter. If somebody pushes you or hits you, you have to tell the teacher first.”

Sippy Cup: “What if I tell the teacher and they don’t stop?”

Me: “Well, then, I guess it's up to you to tell them to stop.”

Sippy Cup: “And what if they still don’t stop?”

Me: “Then, fine, at that point I guess you can defend yourself.”

Sippy Cup: “Ok. Got it. I tell the teacher..."

Me: "Excellen-"

Sippy Cup: "And then I hit them."

Me (sighing): “I’m going to get so many phone calls from your school…”

Sippy Cup (in an impressive crane kick position): "HIII-YAAA!"

Silent Posting (16)