What I Learned Today (13)

Today, I learned that when your 3 year-old son writes his first name legibly on a blank sheet of paper (entirely independent of any coaching or instruction) your mind can and will explode from the sheer awesomeness of the event.

A Letter to Future Sippy Cup (4)

Hey kid,

Earlier today, I asked you what love is.  You told me that "Love is hugs."

Whenever you read this, I assume you'll have reached the age when outward displays of affection towards your father are awkward.

Ignore them for the time being.  Come home and give your old man a hug.

Don't tell me why you're doing it.  Just do it.

Sincerely,
Dad

If You Can't Tell...

...I really liked this outfit.

Behind the Scenes

Ever wonder how Lil Sippy Cup would behave at a more professional photo shoot?

We'll all find out soon enough.

Stay tuned.

Terrorist Demands

Earlier this afternoon, Lil Sippy Cup requested...suggested...instructed...commanded that I seek employment most expeditiously so that I may purchase more money for him to sacrifice to his piggy bank god.

I tried to explain to him that, if I were to return to work as he had demanded, it would require me to physically be present at said place of employment.

He ignored me and repeated his demands.

I will update you of any changes in his stance.

Little Nicky

Being the parent of a 3 year-old boy becomes incredibly frustrating when you start to realize that the majority of his affordable fashion options are limited to tee shirts with sports equipment printed on them, track pants and sneakers that have flashing lights.

However, with enough hard-work and patience, you can find ways to make sure he looks like the handsome little devil that he is as opposed to a terrifying sports fanatic perpetually in search of a pick-up game.

Please?

Lil Sippy Cup asked me for an "ice cream pizza" last night as a bedtime snack.

I was dumbfounded.

Not because his request was preposterous.

Rather, it was because his request was so ridiculously awesome.

Domino's Fairy, please make his (and now my) dream come true.  We thank you in advance.

Sippy Cupicasso

Mr. Cufflink, Lil Sippy Cup and The M.O.M. go to the Thomas Store

as interpreted by Sippy Cupicasso

Felis Catusapien

Lil Sippy Cup recently read the Caldecott Medal winning Kitten's First Full Moon by Kevin Henkes.

I won't ruin the story for you but, for our purposes, all you really need to know is that the story involves a kitten.

Why do I mention this?

Because Lil Sippy Cup is currently protesting traditional baths.

He now prefers to lick himself clean.

A Letter to Future Sippy Cup (3)

Hey kid,

No matter where you are or what you are doing when you finally get to read this, give me a call.

Because, no matter where I am or what I am doing when I finally get the phone call, I know I will appreciate it more than you will ever know.

Sincerely,
Dad

Thanks Dad

There comes a point in every father's life when the terrifying realization that he has become just like his own father dawns on him.

For me, it happened yesterday morning as we were walking down the hallway of our apartment building.

Me: "Dude, stop dragging your feet"

Lil Sippy Cup continues to drag his feet.

Me: "Seriously, pick up your feet while you're walking."

Lil Sippy Cup drags his feet harder.

Me: "Okay, if you don't stop dragging your feet you are going to ruin your new sneakers and then you won't have any sneakers to wear and then you are going to have to walk around barefoot and then your toes are going to fall off and then the police men are going to arrest you."

Just so you know, Sippy Cup has stopped dragging his feet.

This may or may not be entirely related to the traumatizing comments his father made yesterday morning.

Guh Mornin'

There are some mornings when I have a pretty good idea of what the day has in store for me before I even have a chance to brush my teeth.

Me (half asleep): "Good morning lil dude."

Lil Sippy Cup (in a Southern accent): "Guh mornin'!"

Me (rubbing my eyes): "...Good...Good morning...its G-O-O-D."

Lil Sippy Cup: "My name is Mater!  Like tuh-mater!  Without the tuh!"

Me: "Really?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Guh mornin! My name is Mater! Like tuh-mater!  Without the tuh!"

Me: "Fantastic."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Guh mornin! My name is Mater! Like tuh-mater! Without the tuh!"

Me: "You've got a head start on the day, don't you?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Guh mornin! My name is Mater! Like tuh-mater! Without the tuh!"

Bedtime Routine

Every night, before going to bed, Lil Sippy Cup asks me to scratch his back. 

I know that it relaxes him and helps him fall asleep so I willingly oblige.

Lately though, like most things, he has been taking his requests a bit too far.

Lil Sippy Cup: "Daddy, scratch my back..."

Me: "Okay."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Daddy, scratch my arm..."

Me: "Okay."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Daddy, scratch my leg..."

Me: "Okay but you need to fall asleep."

Lil Sippy Cup (sleepily) : "Daddy, do you love me?"

Me: "Of course I love you."

A few seconds of silence...

Lil Sippy Cup: "Daddy...scratch my butt..."

Me: "Aaaand there it is.  Go to sleep."

Lil Sippy Cup (falling asleep): "Ha...ha..."

Call and Confusion

Last night (more than a little inspired by the preview for EA Sports' Madden NFL 2011) I decided to teach Lil Sippy Cup Drew Brees' testosterone-fueled pre-game chant.

As with most of my lessons, it seems that some key points got lost along the way.

Me: "Okay, you got it?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Yep!"

Me: "Okay, let's try it.  You start."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Okay!  When I say 'Win', you say 'Nine'!"

Me: "Wait a second..."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Win!"

Me: "Uhm..nine?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "When I say 'Six', you say 'Eight'!"

Me: "That's not right..."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Four!"

Me: "Huh?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Haha!"

Me: "Wait, what?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "When I say 'Eight', you open your ears!"

Me: "Wait..."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Win!"

Me: "Let's try this again..."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Seven! Win! Ten!"

Me: "This is not going like I planned."

Lil Sippy Cup: "Win! Win! Win!"

The F Word

The M.O.M. bought a new swimsuit today. 

Lil Sippy Cup thought she looked fantastic. 

However, he had a little difficulty expressing himself properly.

Lil Sippy Cup: "Wow Mommy, you look phat!"

M.O.M.: "Wait.  What did you say?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "I said you look phat!"

M.O.M.: "Oh that's nice.  Who taught you that one?!"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Daddy!"

Me: "Wait a second! He means P-H! P-H! Phat!  Like dope!  Tell her what you mean!"

Lil Sippy Cup: "What?"

Me: "What does 'phat' mean?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Mommy!"

Me: "Ok, you are not helping."

3-for-1 Deal

This past weekend, Lil Sippy Cup was treated with a trip to the playground.

Since it was over 90 degrees outside, I figured the best playground to spend the afternoon in would be Andrew's Grove in Long Island City.

You see, Andrew's Grove is surrounded by several large trees which create an immense canopy of leaves.  This leaf canopy, in turn, provides an almost impenetrable shade in the entire play area.  So, a 90 degree day of torture magically turns into a 78 degree day of blissful fun.

Interestingly enough, this playground is also the only playground where I have seen other Dads alone and playing with their kids.  I am positive this is entirely related to the "Shady Canopy of Bliss" I just mentioned.

Apparently, I am not the only one who has figured out how to properly balance my hatred of heat with my love for my child.

More pictures after the jump.  Enjoy.

Stay Tooned

We're at it again...

With One Eye Open

I took a mid-afternoon nap the other day.

When I woke up, I discovered that this had happened to my forehead.

Well played young sir, well played.

Busy Afternoon Ahead

The M.O.M. has her B.A. in Early Childhood Education.

That means she knows that little 3 year-old boys love schedules; it gives their days structure and order and reinforces routines and good habits.

I, on the other hand, have my B.A. in History.

For some odd reason, it has made me rather rebellious and anti-establishmentarianish (yep, I made that one up).

You can clearly see the impact this has had in our approach to parenting.

I'll let you guess who thought of the following wildly successful idea to draft an afternoon/evening schedule for Lil Sippy Cup on his Arts & Crafts board.

Here's a hint: it wasn't me.

P.S. - If you're curious, "Nino" is Lil Sippy Cup's grandfather.  The doodle should have made this obvious to anyone who has met my father.

My Dear Watson

Its simple really.

If you find yourself in the middle of a heat wave, put your 3 year-old son in water as often as possible.

He'll be happy.  Which means you'll be happy.

Shadow

One of the rites of passage of childhood is learning how to play the infamous game of "Shadow".

Like most terribly annoying games, "Shadow" is deceptively simple.

You need at least two players, namely The Shadow and the Victim.

The Shadow simply repeats whatever the Victim says until either (a) the Shadow grows bored or (b) the Victim goes insane.

I didn't know there was a way The Shadow could actually lose at "Shadow".

Me: "Hey lil dude, do you want to play shadow?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "What's that?"

Me: "What's that?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Huh?"

Me: "Huh?"

Lil Sippy Cup: "Dad?"

Me: "Dad?"

Lil Sippy Cup (staring at me in silence)

Me (staring at Lil Sippy Cup in silence)

Lil Sippy Cup: "I just farted!"

Me: "Yep.  You win."

What I Learned Today (12)

Today, I learned two very important things:

(1) Lil Sippy Cup is deathly afraid of dust bunnies

and

(2) The M.O.M. does not find it entertaining when Mr. Cufflink chases Lil Sippy Cup around the house with a softball-sized dust bunny in his hands while screaming out "Arrgghhh! The Dust Monster is going to get you!"

A Letter To The Weather Gods

Dear Weather Gods,

It was 102 degrees in New York yesterday.  You've gotten out of hand.  That's quite enough.

Sincerely,
Mr. Cufflink and Lil Sippy Cup

World's Worst Waldo

If you remember, Hide and Seek is one of Lil Sippy Cup's favorite games.

Fortunately for me, he isn't quite as good at it as he used to be.

Me: "Uhm, lil dude...where are you?"

Lil Sippy Cup (voice muffled): "I'm here!"

Me: "Where's 'here'?"

Lil Sippy Cup (voice still muffled): "I'm in the room! Haha!"

Me: "Ok.  What are you doing?"

Lil Sippy Cup (voice no longer muffled): "I'm hiding!"

Me: "Wait, we're playing hide and seek?"

Lil Sippy Cup (voice muffled): "I'm hiding under the blanket! On the bed!  Come find me!"

War Games

Perhaps one of the most basic rules of parenting is to never make idle threats.

I've learned this (as I have learned everything else on this adventure) through experience.

Like the other day when I found Lil Sippy Cup creating a 3D-masterpiece on the living room floor with sidewalk chalk.

Me: "I would really advise that you stop doing that."

Lil Sippy Cup continues drawing.

Me: "Ok, I see how you want to play this."

Lil Sippy Cup reaches for a new color of chalk.

Me: "Ok, I'm going to call Mommy."

Lil Sippy Cup looks up, cleans up his chalk, and walks away.

Me (raising my leg onto the couch a-la Captain Morgan): "Boom. Awesome points for me."

Lil Sippy Cup (walking with the house phone in his hands) :"Go ahead.  Call her.  Call Mommy."

Me (cornered and forced to call the M.O.M.) : "Oh boy...we've entered this phase have we?"

The M.O.M. answers. I hand Lil Sippy Cup the phone and ask him to explain to her what's going on.

Lil Sippy Cup: "I don't know Mommy, I was playing my art stuff like a good boy and then Daddy said I was in trouble."

Me (snatching phone): "No.  You don't understand.  I know he can play with his art stuff.  Wait.  No, that's not what I said.  Ok, it is what I said.  He was drawing on the floor!"

Founding Father

Spaceships are awesome.

So is Freedom.

Have a great Independence Day everyone.

(The Hall of Science - Queens, NY)

Sippy Prefontaine

I remember, when my son first started crawling, that I couldn't wait for him to grow up and learn how to walk and run so that we could have more structured fun together.

Now as I sit here, with Lil Sippy Cup racing his shadow around the dining room table and freestyling an Opera solo, I really miss the days when all he could do was crawl.

Super Doorman

Lately, Lil Sippy Cup and I have had a major disagreement with regards to how he closes bedroom doors.

I would prefer for him to close them like a normal human being.

He prefers to slam them shut like a super human being.

Me: "Dude, you really need to learn how to close the door properly."

Lil Sippy Cup (while slamming the door shut): "Okay!"

Me (after opening the door): "Seriously, don't you know how to close doors slowly?"

Lil Sippy Cup (while whispering and taking 3 full minutes to close the door): " ...Yes...I...do! "

Boys of Summer

I have debated taking Lil Sippy Cup to a Major League Baseball game for quite a while now.

I have computed the obvious "cost vs. benefit" analysis and the numbers never really made sense.  Plus, I wasn't too sure if his sporadic attention span would be able to handle 3 hours of America's favorite pastime.

Thankfully, his mother came up with an astonishingly brilliant solution: tickets to a Minor League Baseball game.

The Brooklyn Cyclones (the Class A minor league team for the New York Mets) play in a gorgeous beach-front stadium which is just a short drive away from us.  MCU Park has a comfortable seating capacity of 7500 which pretty much guarantees that every seat will provide a great view of the game.

As it turns out, last night was "Thomas & Friends Night", celebrating the 65th anniversary of the talking engine.  In recognition of this fact, the kids in attendance were provided the opportunity to walk onto the field, to the position of their choice, in order to sing the National Anthem.  This, however, would be done without the assistance of their parents.  Or of any adult for that matter.

For some reason, I thought Lil Sippy Cup would be intimidated by having to walk out onto a baseball field by himself.  Nevertheless, when we asked him if he was interested in taking part, he enthusiastically said "Yes!"

We walked onto the field, let go of his hand, held our breaths and, while all the other little kids ran to the various positions around the diamond in small clusters, Lil Sippy Cup walked, by himself, to the middle of nowhere in center field.  He probably would have kept on walking right to the warning track if I hadn't finally caught up with him as the Anthem came to an end. 

Needless to say, he thought it was hilarious.  The stadium staff and the ball players agreed with him and congratulated him for his obvious bravery and innocent sense of humor as we ran back into the stands.

We spent the rest of the late afternoon watching the game, eating hot dogs and catching imaginary foul balls.

He loved every minute of it.

It might not have been a Major League game but I think being able to walk onto the field trumps any memory a professional club's stadium could have offered.

More pictures after the jump.  Enjoy.